Food and lies, lies and food. These two things go together in all sorts of ways that make me uncomfortable. I'm getting indigestion just thinking about the lies I tell myself about food. I mean, is there any other thing on earth so ripe for deception? Here's just a mere sampling of the many lies I tell myself about food.
- Drinking diet soda/sugar-free drinks will cancel out the calories of whatever else I'm eating.
- The hole at the center of every donut makes it healthier.
- Eating more of some sad, crappy low-calorie, fat-free dessert-like food is healthier than eating a real goddamn piece of chocolate cake.
- I'm positive I can digest that street food just fine, no problem.
- I'm just going to have one little potato chip, that's all.
- This chicken smells a little funky, but I'm sure it's fine.
- If I use a bigger spoon I'll actually eat less ice cream. Or is it a bigger bowl?
- Drinking a margarita is practically like eating one serving of fruit.
- Yup, this fat-free yogurt tastes just as good as full-fat yogurt.
- I don't want a whole dessert to myself. I just want one bite of yours.
- Everyone knows drinking vodka kills off any salmonella or E. coli in your dinner.
- This elaborate Persian dish will take no time for me to prepare at all.
- I know my kids are going to love this pumpkin souffle.
- Drinking a green juice is like eating a whole salad.
- I know I've never enjoyed eating sea urchins ever in my life, but this time is going to be different.
- I can definitely eat these beets while wearing white jeans and nothing bad will happen.
- Of course I can cook dinner and watch Scandal at the same time.
- This puffed rice cake will be satisfying and filling, I'm sure of it.
- I think that soup needs a little more salt.
- Yup, eating this yogurt for dessert is every bit as fun as eating ice cream for dessert.
What lies about food do you tell yourself?
Image via Joy Skipper FoodStyling/the food passionates/Corbis