Is it too early to talk about Thanksgiving? Yes. Yes it is. I'd like to apologize for leapfrogging Halloween here in the middle of September but I have breaking turkey news: For the first time ever, turkey-producer Butterball is manning their Turkey Talk Line with actual men. So when you call up the hotline for advice on roasting your holiday bird, you just might get that advice from a man. Oh my God, is this 2013? Did we just travel back in time? Is this really happening?
A little history. When Butterball first opened its talk line in days of yore (1981), it started with just six women selected for their expertise in turkey cookery. Over time the crew grew by word-of-mouth recommendations, the company says. They didn't hire only women on purpose, it just kind of happened that way. But now, with so many men finally donning aprons and daring to roast turkeys (for the 32nd year in a row), the company has decided to actively seek men who could give the male callers more manly advice.
Mantastic! I guess. I suppose I'm glad they're getting with the times and putting guys on the line. But I can't believe this just occurred to them. Don't we all know men who cook? No, it's more than that. Don't we all know men who cook and consider themselves experts and just LOVE telling other people how to cook? I know quite a few men like that. I'm not complaining -- not while I'm eating their food, anyway. But come on, men love dispensing wisdom on whatever they think they're experts on. Why has the Turkey Talk Line been depriving them all this time?
Hell, they probably don't even need to find actual cooking expert men. I know men who will spout out advice on any such whatnot even when they don't know what the hell they're talking about. They literally cannot help themselves. You just say, "I'm having trouble ..." or "I'm having emotions about something ..." and they're all, "Let me tell you how to fix that!" Wasn't the phrase "talk turkey" pretty much invented for men?
Oh, I know. I'm being unfair. Really, I find this trait endearing most of the time. Perhaps what's really changed isn't that more men are cooking; maybe what's new is that men are more open to taking advice from other people. Maybe that's the real sea change. More men are stopping and asking for directions -- on the road and in the kitchen. Well hooray for that! We all win, then.
Would any of the men in your life call a turkey help line for advice?
Image via Dru Bloomfield/Flickr