12 Reasons Why Wine Is Better Than Men

glass of wineToday in Offensive Restaurant Sign News, we have this gem from Draft Barn in Brooklyn, NY. The bar posted a sign listing 12 reasons "Why Beer Is Better Than Woman." The reasons range from "Beer is always wet" to "You always know you are the first one to pop a beer." Oh, there's also "You don't have to wash beer before it tastes good," which is not even remotely offensive or misogynist. And there's the misspelled "Frigit [sic] beer is good beer." Aww, bless your heart, Draft Barn.

Just to show we can take a joke, we've compiled a little list of our own: Why Wine Is Better Than Men. Don't worry, this goes down smoothly, too.

  1. Wine never whines. (The obvious.)
  2. Wine improves with age.
  3. A good bottle of wine is easy to find.
  4. You can sample as many different wines as you'd like and no one will ever call you a slut.
  5. You don't have to assure wine that it's the best you've ever had.
  6. It's socially acceptable to spit wine out.
  7. "Full-bodied" wine means flavorful, not at risk for heart disease.
  8. You have to drink two glasses of wine before you get a headache.
  9. If wine smells off, you can send it back.
  10. A glass of wine lasts longer than 10 seconds.
  11. Wine is ready when you are.
  12. Wine doesn't care if you're on your period.

Oh guys, you know we're just kidding with this. (Geez, they're so sensitive, right?) Good thing we don't have to choose between the two.

Which do you prefer?


Image via Jeff Moss/Flickr

Read More >