Kanye West Picks the Wrong Food to Diss

croissantIt seems like Kanye West might have met his match. No, we aren't talking about Kim Kardashian (though I happen to think they are an adorable couple). This match is much more unusual. You see, on his new album Yeezus, Kanye tossed out a passing reference to a baked good commonly served at French restaurants being sent to his table too slowly.

The guilty pastry? The croissant! Kanye's lyric goes as follows: "In a French-ass restaurant/Hurry up with my damn croissants." Since the delicious bread product lacks the ability to actually write a letter of complaint, writer W. David Marx penned a parody letter on its behalf. 


Marx's hilarious letter implored Kanye's patience the next time he finds himself waiting for a buttery croissant. In his letter to Kanye, Marx discusses the history of the croissant and its technique, and it's equal parts charming and funny:

From the other lines in the song, we have come to understand that you may in fact be a “God.” Yet if this were the case ... we wonder why you do not more frequently employ your omnipotence to change time and space to better suit your own personal whims.

They do not mess around with pastries in France! Marx also adds some jokes about the French pastry and its history. With such ribbing behind him, he also thanks Kanye for caring about French cuisine.

To prevent future insult, I have a couple of lyrical suggestions for Kanye, wherein I have substituted pastries that he can enjoy in a hurry:

1. In a French bistro, drinking French roast/hurry up with my damn cinnamon toast!

2. In a little diner, man eating a noodle/hurry up with my damn toaster strudel!

3. In a place where the food is awful/damn all y'all and give me a waffle!

What other pastries could Kanye rap about?


Image via joyosity/Flickr

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