You know what "hangry" means, right? Hungry + angry = Give that bitch a cupcake and back away until she finishes it. (What, just me?) It's when you're so hungry it makes you cranky. And someone just went through the trouble of explaining a phenomenon the rest of us thought was fairly obvious. Professor Paul Currie says the hormone ghrelin causes anxiety that goes away when we eat. "When you're truly hungry and watching everyone else eat, you're going to get a little bit emotional and anxious. Irritable, angry certainly, and the longer you deprive, there will be an increase in emotional response." And in the time it took me to write out those sentences I could have eaten something instead. Now all I can think about is that cupcake I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph and it's making me feel... SIGH.
Let's shift gears, shall we? Now that we know what causes hangry (duh), let's discuss the tell-tale signs of hanger.
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1. You're on a roadtrip and you've been driving forever. (I could stop right there, actually.) The kids are whining in the back seat and you've been saying no to every single fast food restaurant you've passed in this Godforsaken turnpike when finally you snap. "FINE! Let's stop at the next rest stop and I'll eat $%&*ing paint off the buildings if I have to!"
2. You swear in front of your crying children.
3. You've been holding a menu with your beloved at a restaurant for an hour and suddenly everything he says is unbearably annoying. Why does he always have to make that face? ("What face?!?") Could he please stop breathing so loudly? You can hear his nasal breeze over this blaring music. By the way, why is the music so #$%*ing loud?
4. You're at your kid's game and it goes into overtime yet again. You forgot to bring a snack for yourself and the team's snacks are long gone. Suddenly the ref makes a lousy call and you find yourself in the middle of the field/court screaming your head off at him. The call was made against the other team, but somehow that doesn't matter because HANGRY.
5. You are waiting on line at an eating establishment. Any line. Any restaurant.
6. You're in an argument with a coworker and suddenly they turn into a giant chicken leg, just like in the cartoons. What an asshole.
7. You throw your phone out the window because it's the phone's fault your fingers are too shaky to dial pizza delivery.
8. You've got the sense of smell of a tiger and they're gonna hear you ROAR if you don't get something to eat five seconds ago.
9. That Olive Garden commercial makes you cry. No, I don't remember which one. The one where they're all passing around those breadsticks. Jesus, does it matter?!?
10. The world turns red and you hear bongo drums beating inside your head.
How can you tell when you're hangry?
Image via Dawn Ellner/Flickr