There's throwing your money away and then there's really throwing your money away. An anonymous donor has spent $50K to fund a retirement plan for some egg-laying chickens. And no, 'retirement' is not a euphemism for dispatching the birds to the great big chicken coop in the sky.
The donor's actually having the birds flown from California to a lush East Coast locale where they will spend their days wandering around, eating, and clucking. You know, chicken stuff. This kind of nutty gesture got us thinking. If more donors stepped forward, where else could we send the farm's senior citizens?
So, if an animal reaches an age where they are eligible for retirement, then they've earned the right to go out comfortably. Here's what we have in mind for 5 farmyard animals.
Bovines are all about just chillin'. Let's send them to tropical retirement heaven in Hawaii. There they can learn how to hula, and later on, eat their own grass skirts. Aloha indeed!
Having spent so much of their lives being sheared so that we might enjoy their wool, let's send the sheep on an Alaskan retirement cruise. They can see the sights and use their own wool for a change.
Upon reaching maturity, all turkeys should be sent out of the United States, or any other country where there is a holiday wherein they are eaten. To Sweden, perhaps?
The oinkers will be easy to please. Let's set up a retirement community with a 24/7 all-you-can-eat buffet! Add a heated mud bath in the spa area, and they will be in (you guessed it) hog heaven.
Goats love to head-butt things. With retirement, let's give them the go ahead to start the senior citizens fight club of their dreams.
Would you ever spend so much money on aged farm animals?