Looks like the iconic cereal box character Cap'n Crunch has made enemies in Washington, D.C., and for once, it's not the food police who blame sugar for childhood obesity. A blogger noticed that the uniform Cap'n Crunch wears on cereal boxes had the stripes of a commander, not a captain. A captain has four stripes on his sleeve, while a commander has three. Oookay.
Somehow, this means that Cap'n Crunch is a fraud! And apparently, the Pentagon actually went so far as to said it had "no record of a Cap'n Crunch ever serving in the U.S. Navy," and they're going to have to investigate this potential "serious offense."
Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon, told the Wall Street Journal:
We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records -- and we checked. We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer -- and that’s a serious offense.
Uh oh. Sounds like the Napoleon-hatted Cap'n best be shaking in his boots! I mean, wait, what?! This is so insane.
Sure, he may be tweeting up a storm in his own defense -- one gem: "All hearsay & misunderstandings! I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew, which makes me an official Cap'n. @CrunchatizingRumors" -- but no one's actually after a fictional cartoon character that's been on a cereal box since 1963? Right? Especially not the U.S. Navy, which surely has bigger fish (heheh) to fry than this!
What do you think of this bizarro "controversy"?
Image via Capncrunch.com