350 Cuts of Meat Get New Names That Are Much, Much Nicer

meatGood news for you carnivores out there -- your future trips to the grocery store to purchase your animal flesh just became a lot easier. The U.S. Meat Industry has decided to rename over 350 cuts of meat in an effort to whet your appetite and stave off confusion. After two years of research, trade groups found that the nomenclature on the meat packages were confusing people.

Those looking for a steak had to choose between "butler steak or beef shoulder top blade steak or boneless or flat iron ..." shoppers just became so overwhelmed by the selection and vague names that they ended up just buying a box of Special K for dinner and calling it a day.

While I'm not sure how new names will help me pick up the best cut for my rooftop grilling needs (unless, of course, the names will be something like "That Super Juicy Cut You Once Had at Houston's, Lindsay, That You Really Liked and Vowed to Cook Once at Home", or "The Part of the Pig That's Actually Pretty Damn Delicious and Doesn't Taste Like Ham nor Make You Feel Like You Can Taste the Bristles"), I am very much excited about this  feature -- the new retail names wil come with new packaging that will "tell consumers what part of the animal's body the cut comes from, as well as include suggested cooking instructions."

Score.

Keep an eye on your meat aisle and watch how your once standard "pork chop" will be transformed into porterhouse chops, rib-eye chops, New York chops, and Boston roasts. Fancy!

Truth be told, I'm all for the new names. Well, actually, I'm all for the new labels. And if the names come with labels, fine with me. 

I am, however, worried about how David Letterman will take the news. Now there will be so many acceptable answers during his iconic audience game, "Know Your Cuts of Meat".

Good thing he stopped running that segment years ago, I guess.

What do you think about the meat name change?

 

Photo via jasonawhite/Flickr

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