5 Things That Need to Change About Restaurants Now

Rant 14

eating outWhether it's a new hot spot, a rusty hole in the wall that serves amazing ramen, or a barbecue place with a solid beer selection, I'm shoveling food into my face at a restaurant in New York City at least three or four nights a week. I do it to stay just a few pounds overweight while at the same time draining my bank account -- it's simply the most delicious lose lose. Anyway, while I adore to eat out, there are some changes I'd like to see in the old restaurant world. It's not all diamonds and rosé, but it should be.

Here are 5 things that need to change about restaurants, and now.

  1. Restaurants need to embrace this thing called the CELLPHONE. While there are plenty of restaurants who are caught up on technology, I'm still baffled when places that don't have a bar area refuse to take your number and call you when your table's ready. Don't make me huddle outside your door for an hour just because you don't like dialing 10 numbers.
  2. The pepper grinder. What am I missing -- are pepper grinders worth like, a thousand dollars or something? Why can't I have my own at my table? Why do you have to come around and offer me some in an obscenely giant one? Just make them smaller and let us all control our own goddamn fresh pepper. God.
  3. Waxy napkins. This really only applies to very inexpensive eateries that serve mainly dumplings, wings, and the ilk, but seriously, those waxy napkins are a waste of time. One wipe on those things and it's disintegrated into thin air. Let's agree to step up our napkin-providing game, eh, managers?
  4. My ass in your face. I get it, small tables within millimeters of each other are like, a thing. I eat at places all the time that seat people like sardines, but I'm generally not happy about it. Especially when I have to get up to use the bathroom and I try to squeeze through the small opening between your table and mine, and my ass, or conversely, my crotch (dealer's choice), pretty much sullies your bread basket as I mouth "Sorry! Sorry!" as I push by, twice. I don't like doing that, and I wish I didn't have to.
  5. Taking forever to retrieve the card. I like that they don't rush me with the check, but once I've put my card in that billfold, it pains me to wait for a waiter to come pick it back up. By the time I'm ready to pay, I'm more than ready to leave, AND FAST. It makes me feel like I'm being held hostage and if I had access to one of those huge pepper grinders (which, maybe now I'm seeing why I don't) I'd use it to beat the living shit out of whatever's causing the delay.

Other than those things, though, I love paying talented people to make me dinner. And, huh, would you look at that, it's just about eating time again, now isn't it. Yum.

What don't you like about eating out?


eating out


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shyly... shylynn22

Your a whiner. Eat at home.

nonmember avatar Cass

By forcing you to stick around, they decrease the number of parties that go elsewhere, making their turnover time go down (further away means longer to get to your table means longer stay)

You can buy little pepper grinders of your own that fit in your purse. If asking for pepper offends you so, it's a great solution.

No idea what you're talking about, but if you're eating at a wing joint, I'm not so sure you should be concerned with napkin service.

Or they could space the tables further apart and have to charge extra to make up for their decreased serving capacity.

You can't praise them for not rushing you, then get annoyed at them taking so long. I very rarely wait more than a few minutes to have my card returned to me. If it bothers you so much, pay with cash. You can leave without having to wait.

xiolxuo xiolxuo

Either build your own "perfect" place or shut the hell up and cook your own food.

nonmember avatar Dianne

Jeez your commenters are a bunch of dicks lol. Good points-- I don't think it's whining to bring up things that could be improved upon. Some folks just need to be assholes online bc they don't have the guts in real life. ;)

Teresa Harris

So it's not raising the base pay or allowing sick days or something that really needs to be improved?



webgi... webgirlkelsie

*facepalm* The comments on here are ridiculous. She didn't say they were the only 5 things that needed to be changed... Why can't she voice her opinion while using her sense of humor to poke fun at a few annoyances for an article? Thanks for reading! Don't agree? Move on with your life.

My restaurant annoyances usually revolve around the other diners and their lack of consideration for the people around them.

xiolxuo xiolxuo

What's funny is that you're telling others to not comment if we don't like wht she has to say.. yet you're doing the exact same thing. So perhaps if YOU don't like it, you need to move on with your life.

nonmember avatar miranda

What I dont like about eating out is guests like you.

Boohoo. They wont call my cell phone because I wasnt thoughtful enough to make reservations. A bar area is for drinkers, not families who cant control their kids or people who dont want to waste money on a cocktail.

Customers steal pepper grinders more than any other piece of restaurant paraphanalia. Plus a server needs to connect with patron somehow. Otherwise go to Dennys. Also, too much ground pepper ruins your palate and numbs your ability to discern flavors.

All your complaints make it clear that you dont dine at high quality restaurants or worked in F&B. If you want wonderful service, ambiance, space, napkins, and experience you need to shell out the cash or shutup.

Lovin... LovinJerseyMama

The only pet peeves I have are when my drink is empty (shouldn't get to that point, but I can understand if the restaurant is really busy) or when they constantly forget something I've asked for several times. I rarely go out to eat, and when we do I make sure it's somewhere simple. I also tip well and clean up my own table (mommy habit). I never go out to eat if I'm in a rush, broke or want to try a new place on a whim. I usually go somewhere we have been before so I know what to expect. If I want to try a new place I usually research the menu and reviews online before going. Most of my complaints are due to the other patrons seated around me. Common courtesy in unheard of these days! 

nonmember avatar Gina

What I don't understand is how everyone flips the fuck out when the author is obviously writing a joke piece. It's a good thing some of thesr people don't read Cracked.com becayse i think they'd miss thepoint.

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