Think you’ve been spending too much on your Starbucks habit? Think again, my caffeinated friends: In a quest to set a new, earth-shattering record of "Most Expensive Starbucks Drink," a Washington State man named Beau Chevassus dreamed up a concoction that costs a walloping $47.30 and, presumably, will drive your barista totally insane.
Apparently, Chevassus found evidence that no beverage costing more than $23.60 had ever been ordered from the 'Bux, so he made it his mission to beat that pitiful number. What on Earth did he order, you may ask? Well, I shall tell you ...
A venti 40-shot mocha Frappuccino with soy milk, mocha drizzle, matcha powder, protein powder, caramel brulee topping, strawberry, two bananas, caramel drizzle, Frappuccino chips, and vanilla bean. Woah. I don’t even know what at least one of those things is. Plus, the baristas threw in an extra EIGHT shots. So is this basically a sort of crack cocaine meets milkshake situation? He calls it a "Quadriginoctuple Frap" -- I call it "Courting Adult Onset Diabetes."
It may interest you to know that, although this tasty treat will add up to nearly $50 if you order it yourself (please don’t) (and I would just like to point out that you could buy like five pints of Ben and Jerry’s for that amount), this thrifty fellow not only got a discount for bringing in his own 52-ounce mug that he purchased at Goodwill, but he ordered it on his birthday, so it was free. Side note: Are things free at Starbucks on your birthday, and why did I not know this?
Chevassus did say that he was only able to drink about half of it, and over the course of a few days at that, because "it was so sweet, it made my gums hurt." No kidding -- just thinking about it makes MY gums hurt. What did he do, keep it in the refrigerator and take a few sips/bites every day? And does his dentist know about this? Inquiring minds want to know!
You know what this makes me think? My Starbucks order is WAY too boring. I almost always get a tall latte. That’s it -- no extra requests about temperature, milk fat, or foam amount. Perhaps it’s because I once worked in a cafe, and the words “half-caff” make me cringe; perhaps it’s just that I like it the way they make their lattes at Starbucks, I truly do. Sometimes, I get a grande, and sometimes, if it’s hot out, I’ll get -- you guessed it -- an ICED grand latte. And when I’m really, really feeling wild and crazy, in the winter I’ll get a tall peppermint mocha WITH WHIP (what is the point of a mocha if there is no whipped cream, I ask you?), or, in the summer, a grande iced-tea lemonade, unsweetened. And yes, I always get a grande when I get an iced beverage because the tall iced cups are just not big enough to hold the required amount of ice AND liquid. I have a method to my boringness!
But, alas, compared to a Quadriginoctuple Frap drinker I am, indeed, so totally boring. Maybe I’m missing out. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll go nuts tomorrow and order a VANILLA latte!
What’s your favorite coffee drink? Do you always order the same thing or do you mix it up?