All Around Pizzas and Deli

Only in America! All Around Pizzas and Deli, a pizza place in Virginia Beach, Virginia, is offering customers a 15 percent discount if they bring their guns or their concealed-carry permit. Double pepperoni, anyone?

Jay Laze, the marketing savvy owner of All Around, says he got the idea from a frozen yogurt shop in Utah that offers a similar discount. (Can we just pause for a moment to digest the thought of getting, like, 45 cents off your chocolate-vanilla twist with sprinkles by brandishing your 9-millimeter? Quite a visual!) Presumably not one to let a clever trend pass him by, Laze thought this would be the perf way to boost sales. And he was right! He says he’s seen SIX TIMES as many customers since he started the promo; the first one brought in -- wait for it -- an AK-47.

It’s sort of hard to know where to begin with this one, though ARE YOU KIDDING? is a good start. I mean, talk about an appetite killer. If this were MY personal favorite pizza place, I’d be totally bummed. Luckily I live in Jersey where mediocre pizza abounds and a plethora of excellent pizza places await just over the river in Manhattan, so if my usual go-to Wednesday night I can’t possible face cooking dinner place suddenly starts wooing customers with a gimmick like this, I have plenty of options. (Ironically, I’d feel safer walking the mean streets of NYC at midnight eating a plain slice than I would in a small town in Virginia surrounded by gun-waving pizza patrons. Go figure!)

Truly, I don’t really care about the politics of my gun-nut pizza maker, but the thought of a bunch of people juggling semi-automatic weapons and whatnot along with their red pepper flake and parmesan shakers makes even extra sauce seem suddenly not so tasty. I mean, what if someone gets mad that their thin crust is too thick? Pizza is serious business, people! I don’t need to worry that someone’s going to pull out a Glock if I accidentally spill my root beer (which, I think we can all agree, is the only soft drink that can legitimately be served with pizza).

Speaking of root beer: It looks like All Around sells real beer. (I’m scared to even ask if they sell hard liquor). Wow -- pizza, beer, and guns ... what could go wrong?!

Would you go to a pizza place that offered a discount to people packing heat? If so, what would you order? That's the real question!