Hey Super Bowl fans, I have something VERY IMPORTANT to tell you. Listen up, it could be devastating news. Word on the street is that chicken wings will reach record-high prices right before the game. That's right -- WINGAGEDDON is upon us!
A perfect storm of high feed prices and football-related demand is pushing those chicken wing prices up, up, and up at the grocery store. But do not panic. I repeat: Do not panic. A little planning will help you cope with our national pre-Super Bowl chicken wing crisis.
So here's what you do:
1. Decide how many chicken wings you'll want for Super Bowl Sunday -- NOW. If you're not sure, make your best guess, and err on the side of too many.
2. Go to one of those bulk stores like Costco ASAP. Don't wait until Super Bowl Saturday or even Super Bowl Thursday Night.
3. Buy frozen, because you're buying them weeks in advance.
4. Remember to defrost the wings a day or two before using them.
5. Or just buy your wings from a restaurant because supposedly those aren't going to go up in price as much as the wings in grocery stores.
Phew! Crisis averted. You're welcome.
Now for the reality check: Are we really freaking out over record-high chicken wing prices? Because they're going up from an average of $1.97 a pound to an Oh Mah Gah $2.52 a pound and I don't understand why that's such a big deal. Those wings are still ridiculously cheap. It's hard to get animal protein much cheaper than that without resorting to Spam. So a big, flappy whatever to this "record-high chicken wings prices" nonsense.
Oh god, I'm so hungry now.
Do you care if chicken wings go up by 50 cents a pound this winter?
Image via ikiz/Flickr