New Girl Scout Cookies With Mango & Vitamins Are Ruining All the Fun

mango cremesHey everybody, there's a new Girl Scout cookie on the block! Introducing Mango Cremes With Nutrifusion™. It's a "better for you" cookie, the first of its kind for the Girl Scouts. The treat has a mango-flavored filling between two vanilla cookies. It's slightly lower in saturated fats than some of the other cookies. And it has a whopping 5 percent RDI of vtamins A, C, D, E, and B6 per serving. Whoa, nutrient-rich-ish cookies. What's not to love, right?

Oh, in case you're wondering what Nutrifusion™ is, it's an exciting new ingredient made from natural whole food concentrates of "cranberry, pomegranate, orange, grape, strawberry, and shiitake mushrooms." Which begs the question -- why not just eat pomegranates, oranges, grapes, strawberries, and shitake mushrooms instead if nutrition is what you really want?


And the answer to that question is because you want a cookie, that's why. And because you want to support the Girl Scouts of America. But probably mostly the cookie part.

What we have here is a tragic case of cookie overreach. The Girl Scouts have gotten a lot of guff over their super-unhealthy cookies. They responded by ditching the high fructose corn syrup, which was a smart move. But there's a difference between getting rid of the artificial chemical crap in your cookies and trying to re-make cookies into something that's actually GOOD for you when it's obviously not. When I eat a cookie, I want it to be an act of decadence. Otherwise it's no fun!

Something tells me these Mango Cremes With Nutrifusion™ are actually Probably Not Really Nutritious™. Like, if you want to eat some healthy food, Try Eating Some Broccoli™. Furthermore, perhaps You're Expecting Too Much From a Cookie™. Know what I mean?

Now pass me another Samoa.

What do you think of the idea of putting nutrient-like ingredients into cookies?


Image via ABCSmartCookies

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