Um, wow, doesn't anyone else feel like they need a great, big cocktail? I'm not just talking about the hectic holidays. I'm talking about these crazy headlines! The news seemed especially crazy this year, what with all the naked flesh-eating zombies, the Olympic games, and the Presidential election. Someone pour me a tall one -- of anything.
No, actually, I think I'd like a different cocktail for every major news story for the year. I don't even want to think about the hangover I'll have come January 1, 2013. Just pour me one of those Bath Salt Gin 'tinis!
Bath Salt Gin 'tini: All those stories about naked, flesh-eating would-be zombies gave us the heebie jeebies this summer. Has everyone gotten the memo? Say no to "bath salts," everyone! Except I'm sure this Bath Salt Gin 'tini is perfectly safe.
Sex on the Beach: Poor Kate Middleton, caught sunbathing in the nude. As is her right! Let's toast her with a Sex on the Beach cocktail.
Fuzzy Elmo: Oh Kevin Clash, I sure wish you hadn't. We'll send you off on a variation of the fuzzy navel. Here's the recipe for the Fuzzy Elmo: 1 1/2 oz. strawberry schnapps in an ice-filled highball glass. Fill the rest of the way with half cranberry juice, half club soda.
Petraeus Punch: Oh David Petraeus, so much trouble with Paula and the gang. I'll say one thing -- whatever cocktail we make, it's going to involve a lot of muddling! How about a Petraeus Punch made with muddled oranges (for Jilly Kelley's Florida), a bit of rosewater for Afghanistan, lots and lots of gin for everyone, and bitters for Holly Petraeus.
Binders Full of Women: And to thank candidate Mitt Romney for one of the most delicious memes of 2012, I give you my personal recipe for the Binders Full of Women Cocktail. I think you'll see a theme emerging in this recipe: 1 oz. sherry, 1 oz. Godiva chocolate liqueur, 1 oz. brandy, shaken not stirred with ice, and topped with a cherry.
Did the 2012 headlines drive you to drink?
Image via Kirti Poddar/Flickr