My Rules for Drinking So I Don't Make a Dang Fool of Myself

cocktailIt's now officially holiday season, and you know what that means? Holiday cocktails! Time to par-tay! Oh yeah. For some of us, the time between Thanksgiving and New Years is practically an alcohol tsunami, with toasting and celebrations happening all the time.

And that's just fine with me. But I'm pausing here for a moment to review my booze rules. These are the little rules I have about drinking. Because I grew up in a teetotaler home I've had to figure a lot of this stuff out on my own. I learned the hard way that I don't have to eagerly accept every single time someone offers me a drink. Here's when I say no, and when I say go.


When it's okay for me to drink:

  • When I'm in a good mood already.
  • When I'm with people I feel comfortable with.
  • When I'm with people I'm a little nervous around, but just because I don't know them well enough yet.
  • When I'm with my sister.
  • When I'm finished with work.
  • When I'm exasperated.
  • When it's been a long week.
  • When it's been a great week.
  • When I have something to celebrate.
  • When my son is in a safe place.

When it's not okay for me to drink:

  • When I'm sad.
  • When I'm angry.
  • When I'm hungry.
  • When I'm with people who push my buttons.
  • When operating machinery.
  • When dealing with a baby.
  • When I have to drive myself home. (Oh wait, I don't have a car...)
  • When I'm in a place or with people who make me feel unsafe.
  • When I know they're going to serve me a warm martini.
  • Breakfast.
  • When I'm listening to Joni Mitchell.

And here's how I do my drinking:

  • On the weekend, a cocktail and a glass or two of wine with dinner is about my limit.
  • During the week, maybe a glass of wine with dinner.
  • Drink plenty of water, too.
  • Don't get drunk.
  • Shaken not stirred.
  • Nothing too sugary.
  • A chocolate martini is always going to be gross.
  • Don't leave drinks unattended.
  • Always use a glass. No tubes or goatskin bladders.

What are your booze rules?


Image via Dana Moos/Flickr

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