5 Reasons Why Shopping for Thanksgiving at the Last Minute Is the Worst Mistake You Will Ever Make

Rant 14

tgiving shoppingI suck at planning ahead. No two ways about it, I'm forgetful and always distracted and never prepared for anything, particularly not the holidays -- PARTICULARLY not Thanksgiving. So where was I today, the day before THANKSforGIVINGme-a-migraine? Why, I was at the grocery store, of course, battling all the other last-minute shoppers for whatever was left on the shelves (the dented can thing is a myth, right?).

And you know what? It wasn't so bad. HA! I'm lying! It WAS so bad. It was sooooo bad. As bad, if not worse, than every other last-minute Thanksgiving grocery shopping trip of my life. (You'd think I would've learned my lesson by now, but no.) Perhaps you too are a last-minute shopper? Or maybe you're one of those super-organized types who orders your turkey in August. If you're the former, read the following list and chuckle knowingly. If you're the latter, read the following list and snicker smugly.

5 Reasons Why Shopping for Thanksgiving at the Last Minute is a Nightmare

1. The guy re-stocking the dairy section for the millionth time today might snap and beat you over the head with a carton of heavy cream if you ask him about the organic non-dairy whipped topping that doesn't exist.

2. Shopping cart traffic jams can cause serious injury and possible permanent disfigurement to ankles, hips, knees and toes.

3. Confused by the colorful and attractive displays, unprepared shoppers run the risk of forgetting everything on their non-existent lists, leaving with bags full of nothing but artisanal olive oil, fig chutney, peppermint tea-infused scones and fair trade dark chocolate mini turkeys.

4. Standing in line for more than 45 minutes at a time has been known to trigger flashbacks to The Walking Dead so realistic you could end up trying to behead the "zombie" behind you with a plastic butter knife from the take-out counter.

5. When you call your mother from the baking supplies aisle because suddenly you can't remember whether her apple pie recipe calls for baking powder or baking soda, you will invariably get into a huge argument about last Thanksgiving when you had the nerve to go to your in-laws' for dinner instead, you ungrateful little so-and-so.

Are you a last-minute shopper? Did you have any nightmare-ish experiences today?

Image via Jason Tester Guerrilla Futures/Flickr

food, grocery shopping, thanksgiving


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Haha! DH stopped by the store before work today. I've had my list for days, but he wanted to wait. I'm not going  to nag, just laugh.

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Lol i had to go for last minute ranch dip fixings and omg the parking lot alone was enough for me to say screwww this mess. But alas cant survive carrots without ranch. So i toughed it out. Thank goodness i did most of my shopping before today i would have left a full cart in an aisle.

Maias... MaiasMommy619

Lmao!!! I would never wait til the day before!!!!!!

Michele L James

There is always something I end up going back out for at the last minute. Usually because I end up putting something new on the menu. It can be crowded and hectic but people are usually in good spirits. This year an older woman with a cane offered to use her cane to knock a box off the top shelf for me. Right into the cart! I gave somebody the last of the cherry pie filling out of my own cart and she gave me a coupon for my cream. All of this at the dreaded Walmart!

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I am cooking most of the day before thanksgiving so shopping then isn't an option. I went on Monday and it was quite busy for a week day but less hectic than a Saturday.

Happy... Happydad73

OMG, the shopping cart thing!!!! I nearly killed a little old lady in line behind me last year when she hit me in the ankle with her cart 3 times!!! I finally grabbed the front of her cart and glared at her!! Her eyes went wide and she backed off!! Oh the joys of last minute holiday shopping.

Texas... TexasGirl512

Totally made the mistake of going to the store. Still have the migraine. :'(

Jespren Jespren

I thought I was 'last minute' shopping Monday night! How in heaven's name do you get the turkey defrosted in time if it isn't purchased until Wednesday? Of course i'd prefer fresh, but by my 'last minute' trip on Monday evening there was only ONE fresh bird left (too small), and the last time I waited til Monday there were NO fresh birds left!

doodl... doodlebut

I went yesterday and it was empty. But I live in a small town! It was great, no lines, parking spot right up front!

paige... paige8608

I went to the store yesterday, which was a mistake...but I was SOOO not trying to get out today. I'm not even going to cook today, lol, which is the messed up part. I slept in & didn't feel like it. So I'm just going to go over my grandmother's here in a little while. But I did pick up a bottle of wine. 

I hate Wal-Mart (I wanted to go to a couple different stores, but after seeing the traffic I thought it'd be better to just go there...unfortunately.) There was this one dumb woman hogging up all the space in front the the spices w/ her cart & 2 kids. I'm thinking, "Move you rude ass bitch!" So I just bogarded my way in front of her daughter, who was staring at me for a verrry long time...I stared at her straight back. Eye problem much? (Yes, I was a bit irritated at this point b/c the bitch wouldn't fucking move!) All I wanted was some fucking sage! SAGE! And this woman comes up & tells me to look in the mexican aisle b/c they have all the dried herbs there, but still no sage. I NEED SAGE! So I got everything except for sage. 

People do not know how to drive cars or shopping carts. It was really annoying. And I'm not too good to bogard my way through if someone's just standing idle, in my way. I don't have time to be fucking around in Wal-Mart. 

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