5 Reasons Why Shopping for Thanksgiving at the Last Minute Is the Worst Mistake You Will Ever Make
I suck at planning ahead. No two ways about it, I'm forgetful and always distracted and never prepared for anything, particularly not the holidays -- PARTICULARLY not Thanksgiving. So where was I today, the day before THANKSforGIVINGme-a-migraine? Why, I was at the grocery store, of course, battling all the other last-minute shoppers for whatever was left on the shelves (the dented can thing is a myth, right?).
And you know what? It wasn't so bad. HA! I'm lying! It WAS so bad. It was sooooo bad. As bad, if not worse, than every other last-minute Thanksgiving grocery shopping trip of my life. (You'd think I would've learned my lesson by now, but no.) Perhaps you too are a last-minute shopper? Or maybe you're one of those super-organized types who orders your turkey in August. If you're the former, read the following list and chuckle knowingly. If you're the latter, read the following list and snicker smugly.
5 Reasons Why Shopping for Thanksgiving at the Last Minute is a Nightmare
1. The guy re-stocking the dairy section for the millionth time today might snap and beat you over the head with a carton of heavy cream if you ask him about the organic non-dairy whipped topping that doesn't exist.
2. Shopping cart traffic jams can cause serious injury and possible permanent disfigurement to ankles, hips, knees and toes.
3. Confused by the colorful and attractive displays, unprepared shoppers run the risk of forgetting everything on their non-existent lists, leaving with bags full of nothing but artisanal olive oil, fig chutney, peppermint tea-infused scones and fair trade dark chocolate mini turkeys.
4. Standing in line for more than 45 minutes at a time has been known to trigger flashbacks to The Walking Dead so realistic you could end up trying to behead the "zombie" behind you with a plastic butter knife from the take-out counter.
5. When you call your mother from the baking supplies aisle because suddenly you can't remember whether her apple pie recipe calls for baking powder or baking soda, you will invariably get into a huge argument about last Thanksgiving when you had the nerve to go to your in-laws' for dinner instead, you ungrateful little so-and-so.
Are you a last-minute shopper? Did you have any nightmare-ish experiences today?
Image via Jason Tester Guerrilla Futures/Flickr