carving turkeyThanksgiving is an -- if not the -- ultimate family holiday. So, for better or worse, we're stuck with our loved (or not so loved) ones for at least several hours of eating and drinking. Good times, yes, but it's only a matter of minutes before the dysfunctional behavior comes out. As Stephen Colbert once so wisely put it, "Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car." Yup! Sounds about right!

But hey, since it's generally par for the course, what can we do other than make the best of it? Here, some of the folks whose quirky, wacky, obnoxious, crazy behavior always seems to find its way to the Thanksgiving dinner table and who are best handled with a sense of humor ...

  1. The drunk. He/she always turns up somehow. Hopefully, they're more funny than angry after downing that entire bottle of Merlot.
  2. The overly-curious-about-your-love-life relative. Whether or not they're asking you why you're still single or why your ex-husband isn't there, they obviously aren't aware of a few little things called appropriate time, place, and oh yeah, volume!
  3. The-overly-curious-about-your-reproductive-health relative. Seems like once you reach a certain age and you're not yet a mom, it's almost impossible to avoid being asked when you're going to start bearing children -- for everyone else's sake!
  4. Relative who decides it's his job to hoard the good stuff at his end of the table. And when you ask them to share, they make a big show of passing the dish your way.
  5. Relative who doesn't have food allergies but whines about everything as if he does. It's like, geeze, just shaddap and eat -- or don't!
  6. Vegans. 
  7. Vegans who bring their own food and insist on sitting there pouting and eating only their own food. What, you couldn't make a chickpea salad to share?
  8. The inside joker. The relative who smirks or is whispering about the host or other relatives, like they're in a junior high clique.
  9. The host who won't sit down. And who makes you feel guilty for eating, because she WON'T SIT DOWN AND EAT!
  10. The game-watchers. You know, those guys who are soooo into the game and, as a result, do nothing before and after dinner.

What's the most obnoxious behavior you've encountered at a Thanksgiving dinner?

 

Image via Rhett Sutphin/Flickr