The 2012 presidential debates are here! The presidential debates are here! Are you planning to watch? You could watch them alone and shout at your television in privacy. Hey, that's cool. Do it all the time myself. But isn't it even more fun if you have a few friends over? I think a debate party is in order.
Invitations: You could try and invite people of all political persuasions. Um ... you are still speaking to your friends who are rooting for the other guy, right? Hmm.
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On second thought, maybe you should avoid having the police show up at your party to break up the inevitable "domestic disturbance." Just call the people you already know agree with each other. Apologize to your brother-in-law for un-viting him. He'll understand. He's un-viting you to his own party.
Seating charts: Assuming you do risk inviting people with different political views (ARE YOU REALLY SURE YOU WANT TO DO THAT?), you may need to create a little (ahem) space between certain hot-heads. Divide the sofa in half? Make one party sit on the floor and the other on the sofa (depending on the polls that day)? It's up to you.
Referee: Designate your most neutral friend as the referee to keep the peace. That is, if you still have a neutral friend. Otherwise, may I suggest: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Sarah Palin (I hear she's free), Bill Maher, Ann Coulter, Joe Scarborough, Kim Jong-un, or Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Empty chair: If nothing else, do make sure you keep an empty chair up front in case anyone feels like giving an absent candidate a piece of their mind. It's cathartic and not at all weird.
Pre-debate meditation. Call it prayer, call it Lorazepam, whatever you need to keep yourself calm throughout the party, do it before anyone arrives.
Games: Okay, we know you take this all seriously. It's serious, folks! So serious. But you can still have some fun.
Costumes: Invite everyone to dress up as their favorite notorious candidate, past or present. Then see if you can guess who's who. Extra points for tri-corner hats and pizza boxes.
Time out for fashion: Who is the best-dressed candidate? Who looks the most presidential? Where would you put the brownface-o-meter for tonight, from "pasty" to "tandering." How about Obama's hair -- is he at an all-time recession gray? More importantly, who is the best-dressed possible FLOTUS? Play Guess the American designer. Whose outfit costs more? Extra points if Michelle Obama is wearing a sleeveless dress and Ann Romney's dress is red.
Let's move: Too much sitting and eating? Make everyone do push-ups and sprints during the commercial breaks. Slap hands if anyone reaches for seconds on dessert. Dessert? What's that even doing there? Where's the kale? Is any of this food even organic???
Organize a pre-debate marathon and see if you can beat Paul Ryan's time. What was it again ... three-hours-something? Or four? Eh, just guesstimate, give or take an hour.
Got any other great ideas for sharing the debates with friends?
Image via DonkeyHotey/Flickr