baconImagine a world without bacon. That is the bleak reality pork producers want to alert you to. Bacon. It could disappear from our plates, leaving behind only the haunting scent of fried breakfasts past.

The U.K.'s National Pig Association is warning of a pork shortage of global proportions. They say a "world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable." OMG, NO! It can't be. Is this really true? And if so, can't someone DO something? Where is Super Pig when we need him?

Okay, let's see if these shortage fears are real. The NPA mentions droughts all over the world but especially in the US and Russia, leading to rising costs of pig feed, which in turn has led to at least one farmer feeding his pigs candy. That much is true -- including the crazy one about feeding pigs candy. Someone actually did that.

I don't know ... kind of sounds like pork is just going to get more expensive. I mean, is it really a "shortage" when we run out of a food we don't really need to eat, like bacon? Has anyone ever died from not eating enough pork chops?

But let's give these guys the benefit of the doubt. Let's imagine a world without bacon. What other meaty, crunchy treat would you eat at brunch? Would your Bloody Mary be lonely? What would become of cobb salads and BLTs? Whole menus would have to change. Millions might convert to vegetarianism. KEVIN BACON MIGHT STOP DANCING.

Okay, fine. You convinced me. This really is a global crisis we need to worry about. Start stockpiling bacon. Alert the UN and call in the Pigs From Space!

Could you live without bacon?

 

Image via cookbookman17/Flickr