candy cornThe first word that comes to mind is "diabetes." The second word that comes to mind is "delicious." The third word that comes to mind is "why," and the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth words are "aren't these in my mouth." Candy Corn flavored Oreos. According to a sleuth in a Target store in Orlando, they're real, and they're hitting shelves as we speak. This blessed combination of fall's greatest gift with America's classic cookie is the best food stuffs combination since pretzels met ice cream. The Candy Corn Oreo is a heroic feat of human ingenuity, and Crisco, and has me more excited than those passé Dorito shell tacos. My teeth hurt just thinking about these cookies. In a good way, of course. Bet you wanna know when and where you can get them, don't cha!

Well, preliminary reports around the Internet say that Kraft (the owners of Nabisco) have confirmed that Candy Corn flavored Oreos will be available exclusively at Target starting Monday, September 10 and will retail for $3.59 a package.

A matter of days, people!

Candy corn is a polarizing sweet treat -- you either love or loathe -- and I happen to fall squarely into the school of thought that there is no greater way to get a sugar high than by pounding a handful of Halloween's greatest contribution to adult society. The orange, yellow, and white triangles are like little teardrops from heaven, and I gobble them up every October with a fervency and dedication only before seen during the Burkina Faso fight for independence. There is nothing that can get in the way of me and a bowl of the candy cornys.

Thus, I would like a box, or a bag, however they may come, a box-bag of Candy Corn flavor-filled Oreos to my face, ASAP. And by ASAP, I mean Monday morning at 9 a.m. Please and thank you.

Are you as excited as I am about Candy Corn flavored Oreos?

 

Photo via andrewmalone/Flickr