Ugh, stupid jars of tomato sauce that won't open! Boxes of cereal that explode on you. Impenetrable packages of bacon. WHYYY??? It's always like this when you're famished: The only thing standing between you and eating is that f*&%ing packaging.
It's like the food manufacturers are teasing us. Ha ha ha! You wanted to eat? Psych! No food for you. Do they NOT want us to eat their food? And the packaging that's supposed to actually make it easier to open is even worse! Those "pull here"s and "tear along the edges" are all just a sick joke.
Well here's a video that expresses the frustration with food packaging we all feel. My stomach grumbles angrily every time I watch it.
Okay, I have a few solutions for this poor guy. First of all, slow down! If you attack your food like a hungry gorilla, you will have problems. Act like a human being who can wait a few extra seconds and patiently, slowly open the package.
Forget trying to use the manufacturer's sick excuse for perforated edges and pull-off film. I just use scissors or a knife for almost everything plastic or paper: The bag inside the box of cereal, bags of chips, the wrap around loaves of bread, boxes of anything, packages of bacon.
As for hard-to-open jars, sometimes running under hot water works, or banging the lid on your counter, or using one of those rubber things. But regardless, always drink a martini before trying to open a bottle of anything.
I used to think I was a wimp for using a towel to twist off bottle caps, but I saw a hunky bartender do the same thing just last week. ("Those things just tear the skin off your fingers.") Have you ever noticed when you're using a can opener that there's always that point near the end when the lid bucks up? Stop there.
Okay, I just fixed food packaging. My work here is done! Have a great weekend and good luck feeding yourselves.
What food packaging do you hate the most?
Image via pleatedjeans/YouTube