When I heard there was a Pippa Middleton party book I got all excited. Finally, the secret to getting into debauched costumed bacchanalias with French millionaires and dwarfs revealed! OUI. But non. It is not that kind of party book. I put down my powdered wig and sequined thong with a sigh.
No, Pippa Middleton's new party book is a respectable tome called Celebrate: A Year of Festivities for Families and Friends. No mention of strippers anywhere on the cover. Instead, it's "a comprehensive guide to simple and creative entertaining." BuzzFeed says the cover looks like a Pinterest board and they're right. But what else is in the book?
Well, no one has been allowed to see inside of Celebrate yet, which won't arrive at bookstores here until October 30. (What the HELL are we supposed to do about Halloween, then?!?) I'm sure the publisher intends to send me an advance copy any day now -- ahem, I said passive-aggressively. But considering Pippa is the editor of her family's web magazine The Party Times I would expect recipes and decorating ideas filled with cheery, whimsical mirth.
You already knew Pippa's family owns the party supply company Party Pieces, and that she works for the event planning company Table Talk, right? ("Sensational, exceptional and impeccable party and event catering in London.") Get out your holiday crackers, ye merry gentlemen!
Here's how Pippa describes the book on the back of the UK version:
It is a useful and practical journey into British-themed occasions and I hope it offers welcome inspiration and ideas, most of which needn't leave you alarmingly out of pocket. Entertaining on any scale can be stressful and daunting so this is all about finding ways to manage and enjoy the process.
I hope you will see this as a feel-good book with ideas to look forward to each month, providing threads of lasting, happy memories, be it around a table lit with candles in winter, outside on a rug in summer or in the autumn, perched on a leaf-covered bench, hot drink in hand.
Okay, so cheap tricks, English themes (designed for a cold, damp climate), something about candles, something about benches and hot drinks... and that bit about entertaining being stressful but finding ways to "manage" and "enjoy" it anyway -- does that mean the book comes with anti-anxiety medication? Do I need a prescription for this party book? Because if so, SIGN ME UP! That, at any rate, would justify the $50 price tag.
Would you buy Pippa Middleton's party book?
Image via Penguin