Cooking With Kids: A Recipe for Disaster!

LOL 36

kids bakingModern Mom Mythbusters #8,742: Cooking and/or baking with your kids is not, in fact, the wholesome, quality time-spending, good memory-making activity it's cracked up to be. Trust me. You know those moms on TV who practically radiate sunbeams as they teach their suspiciously well-groomed children how to whip up a batch of perfect chocolate chip cookies?

Well, screw 'em! Those b*tches are lying to you!

Here's the thing: I'm not saying DON'T bake with your kids. I mean, all things considered, it's still an excuse to interact with them in a non-yelling way, and it doesn't involve a screen or any other type of electronic pacifier-type device, so you can add points to your good parent score and stuff. I'm just saying, kids in the kitchen? It ain't always pretty. Oh, and the stuff you bake won't always be pretty, either ... like the Martha Stewart-inspired cupcakes I tried baking with my two kids a couple of weeks ago (see for yourself after the jump).

They were supposed to look like adorable pink pigs with candy eyes and frosting snouts. Did they end up looking like pigs? Well, I guess that depends on your definition of pig:

pig cupcakes

I will say this much: Those little piggies tasted pretty damn good.

Determined to give these a go with your own kids? Well, some moms do seem to have better luck with this type of endeavor, so go for it. Still, don't say I didn't warn you! Here's my secret recipe:

Cupcakes With Kids

Ingredients:

Two cranky children who’ve been waiting all afternoon to make cupcakes because it's raining and they're bored and their frazzled, multi-tasking mom promised they could all make cupcakes, oh boy! Just as soon as she was finished with work and now it's after dinnertime and Mom, you promised!!

Directions:

1. Ask first child to measure 2 cups of flour. Pause to clean up all-purpose mushroom cloud which blooms as a result of child's vigorous bag-opening technique.

2. Ask second child to mix the flour and the sugar. Tell first child to chill out and stop complaining -- after all, she got to measure the flour, didn't she? Hear sugar crunching under your feet as you walk around the table and remind second child to stir more gently.

3. Sprout several new gray hairs watching children take turns cracking eggs.

4. Ask first child to mix the eggs and vanilla extract. Tell second child to chill out and stop complaining -- after all, he got to mix the flour and sugar, didn't he?

5. Find cupcake liners with pumpkins and bats printed on them from Halloween. Spend 15 minutes convincing both children that using pumpkins and bats are a perfectly acceptable motif in mid-August.

6. Sprout several new gray hairs and several new forehead wrinkles watching children take turns pouring batter into the cupcake tins.

7. Put cupcakes in the oven. Realize you still have to make the frosting and decorate the cupcakes once they're cool. Promise children you will buy them a unicorn if they agree to finish Phase 2 of this ill-advised project in the morning.

8. Pour yourself a stiff drink and send the kids to bed.

And voila! There you have it. And by "it" I mean a big-ass mess to clean up.

Do you bake with your kids?


Image via flowercarole/Flickr

baking, cooking with kids, cupcakes

36 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

banan... banana-bear

I bake/cook with my children all the time and have ever since they were about 2 and could help stir without knocking food out of the bowl. Kids need to learn how to cook, it's an important life skill. Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean you should discourage other parents from doing it. I'd rather deal with a little mess from them learning now than to have an incompetent 20-something year old who can only make Kraft mac-n-cheese or bologna sandwiches.

easun... easunshine

Hahahaha!!! This is perfect. I haaaaate cooking with my kids. They love it so we do it, but the mess...oh the mess. And the whining and fighting over who does what... so glad I'm not the only one who doesn't enjoy this parent/child activity.

Caera Caera

"Author", you're such a freaking idiot.

nonmember avatar Steph

"Caera" you're devoid of a sense of humor. This is hilarious! Props to moms keeping it real!

RLT2 RLT2

LOL-It's like you've been spying on me and my kids "making pancakes" together!  Making pancakes is in quotes because, so far as I can tell,  we mostly just make a mess and me crazy!

-Stra... -Strawberry-

LOL I totally know how that is. I do love for my kids to help because I DON'T want them to be helpless like I was- I was never allowed to cook. But it IS super frustrating.

Ciara89 Ciara89

My children are not allowed to whine. I can not understand it and it is assault on my ear drums. If they would like to whine they must do so upstairs in their rooms. the result of this is that things like baking and cooking together is actually a lot of fun.They don't whine because they know if they do they don't get to participate because they have to go to their room. no whining= less stress for mommy. and if we make a little mess well we have fun cleaning it up after. My kids get a kick out of holding the dustpan while we sweep stuff up and then dumping it in the trash. My two year old calls it "Shovel!!" lol! So just because this parent/authoris an idiot and is going about this in a way that is sure to make it unpleasant for everyone (e.g. kids can tell when you don't want to do something with them. they were obviously desperate for some attention) doesn't mean that Baking with your kids wont be fun. don't let her discourage you!!

1likeme 1likeme

LOL, I have four and this is my life. By frosting time I break out a plastic container of something store bought and call it a day. They will all know the fundamentals of cooking and baking by the time they are 18 even if I need a support group to get through it :/

Munch... MunchiesMom324

I had my sister's two kids over one night... So it was me and 6 kids - ages 9, 4, 3, 3, 2 and 1. 
"yes, bring them over!" I said.  "It will be GREAT fun, making homemade pizzas!" I said.


Dear God.  What was I THINKING?!


Fast forward (because, obviously, I haven't learned my lesson, or I'm a glutton for punishment) two weeks later.


"Oh, look at what I found on Pinterest!  Let's make cookie bowls!"  "It will be FUN!" I said.


I'm waiting on another bout of insanity to hit.  Wonder what it will be this time.

mompam mompam

I always bake with my kids. But I must pur the batter into the cups. I let them go to town with sprinkles.

1-10 of 36 comments 1234 Last