This is truly joyous news for all Floridians: A Miami Beach restaurant is serving sushi on nude bodies. Just what you've always longed to do, right? Who among us has not thought to ourselves, "Self, this sushi is delicious but I'd enjoy it so much more if I'd plucked it from the armpit of some nekkid lady!" AMIRITE?
Oh my America. This practice is illegal in China, where using a naked lady as a plate is deemed both unsanitary and immoral. But we loves us some freedom fluke on a fanny. So the Kung Fu Kitchen and Sushi is only too happy to accommodate folks' preference in tableware.
And it's not in health code violation. The Florida health department is A-OK with this here idea.
According to Sandi Preda of Florida's Department of Business and Professional Regulation, “Generally speaking, as long as the restaurant is adhering to FDA rules regarding no bare skin contact, it should be in compliance." For Kung Fu this means ever-so-carefully placing little pieces of plastic between the sushi and the parts. You know, kind of like a sushi condom. Or maybe more like a sushi diaphragm.
This is actually an old tradition from Japan. I imagine the body warms up the sushi to just the right temperature. I can see this going on in gentlemen's clubs with the geisha. Or maybe on the geisha.
Anyway, you'll have to shell out $500 each if you want to find out what this is like. Naked platters do not come cheap, people! Unless you can talk your friends into doing this for you.
Restaurant owner Nathan Lieberman says he didn't even have to hire models to serve as platters. Some of his waitstaff volunteered. “I have a very good-looking staff,” he said. “They said, ‘We want the money, and we like to be naked.’” Yes, but do you have any MALE volunteer platters, Mr. Lieberman? Because having a male sushi platter who "likes" to be naked could get a little complicated, what with the strategically-placed plastic and all. Not that I'd mind! I actually think the moving-target sashimi game could be even more fun.
Would you ever eat sushi off a naked person's body? Or volunteer to be a sushi platter?
Image via sekimura/Flickr