You know, every time I get behind the wheels of my fancy, high-maintenance Italian sports car (never), I find myself craving an espresso. But I am driving too fast to stop at Starbucks! What's a totally ridiculous, spoiled driver to do? Obviously this: Buy a new Fiat with a built-in espresso maker. Because nothing says HAWT like scalding your lap with teeny amounts of Italian coffee in your teeny Italian sports car.
Why are they doing this? We don't have enough traffic accidents with the cellphones? Now we're encouraging people to brew themselves a cup of freakin' coffee in their damn car? And how good is a car-brewed coffee going to taste, anyway?
Sigh. Let's hear how the marketers spin it:
The 500L is the first standard-production car in the world to offer a true espresso coffee machine that [uses] the technology of the ‘A Modo Mio’ pods. It is perfectly integrated in the car with a deck designed expressly by Fiat.
Okay, it's that pod coffee so it's not like the driver is grinding beans, carefully measuring the grounds, and then filling the whole car up with steam. Because that would be totally CRAZY, right? Haha. And just brewing up pod coffee in your car is only medium crazy.
Well I'll tell you this. After they pick up all the bodies from the car crashes, they're going to discover something: Fiat. It stands for Fix It Again Tony. Coffee from a BMW I would trust. Hell, even Subaru would probably brew a decent cup. But Fiat? That's going to be one touchy lemon of an espresso machine. Not to mention -- the Italians have extremely high standards for good espresso. How can they possibly even allow such a thing? Good thing they collaborated with coffee maker company Lavazza or they wouldn't stand a chance. (Check out this photo of the Fiat Lavazza maker to see what it'll really look like.)
This spells disaster to me. And yet, I'm dying to try it all out anyway.
Do you think it's too dangerous to use an espresso machine in your car?
Image via cogdogblog/Flickr