Pizza Made From Snake & Spider Venom Is Better Than Twinkies

snakeI have sad news for you, pizza lovers: Venom toppings are off the menu. I repeat, no more venom toppings on your pizza. Please retract your fangs and step away from the pizza box.

Venom pizza topping -- yes, that's a thing. Or it was for a few days, anyway. Pizzeria owner Ismail Ertekin was all set to lace his pizzas with spider, snake, and scorpion venom extracted for "homeopathic remedies." But the health department said no. These were kind of like Fear Factor pizzas meant to help people get over their spider phobias ... I guess? I mean, can you really do that with food? "They were really popular, especially with people who have a phobia of spiders or snakes," says Ertekin. "They used the pizza as a way to get over their fears."

Okey dokey, then. That's completely loopy. But listen to what else Ertekin says.

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"Preservatives in foods are much more damaging than my poison pizzas." WOMP WOMP. Food for thought? Homeopathic venom is a blood thinner and can has been used for a whole range of blood disorders. Venom has also been used to relieve chronic pain. But just because venom can treat illnesses doesn't mean it's a good idea to eat it for fun. I mean, you wouldn't top a pizza with aspirin, would you?

On the other hand, all those funky chemical preservatives in our food aren't so great for us, either. He has a point, there.

Anyway, the pizzeria is in Zurich, Switzerland, so I guess I'll never know what venom pizza tastes like. And I'll probably never get around to tasting Ertekin's gold dust pizza, either. Yes, he's doing that. It makes the pizzas extra shiny -- and naturally, he's claiming health benefits for this one, too: "Gold is one of the oldest medical treatments in the history of mankind. Gold can really help the immune system." Riiiight. Especially if you sell it and use the money to buy a warm sweater.

Would you ever try pizza topped with venom or gold?

 

Image via going solo/Flickr

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