Although the tradition is that the bride's parents pay for a wedding, more and more frequently, couples are footing the bill for their own Big Day. Unfortunately, even when that's the case, plenty of guests still expect the grand affair that only affluent parents could afford. And I'm not just talking about extravagant floral centerpieces or a decadent cocktail hour. Some people actually expect the couple to be picking up the tab on meals surrounding the wedding day -- aka a rehearsal dinner and a day-after brunch.
Now, I totally get the rehearsal dinner bit, and there are certainly ways to do that on the cheap. Plus, fewer people are usually invited (just close family and the bridal party, right?), so it can make for an easier pill to swallow. The brunch, on the other hand, adds up fast! So anyone who says the couple has to have one? I'm calling your bluff!
Look, I love brunch as much as the next mimosa fan, but it's one of the first things my fiance and I axed from our wedding budget, because we figured people can definitely track down a bite to eat the morning after on their own. Thankfully, plenty of hotels offer a complimentary breakfast. I swear, I'm not being compensated for this mention (I wish!), but I recently stayed at two Hampton Inns, both of which had a really extensive breakfast spread (DIY Belgian waffles!), making it a great spot to set up a room block for guests.
Or you might happen to have your wedding a hotel that has its own restaurant where your guests can meet you in the a.m., and you can enjoy brunch together ... on separate tabs!
And of course there's always the idea of having it at a nearby family member's house with a simple bagel or doughnut and coffee spread. But that only works if it's convenient enough, there's enough space, the family member doesn't mind, etc. And even then, depending on how many people come, it's still an extra expense.
But even if money isn't the issue, there are other drawbacks to the post-wedding brunch ... like having to say goodbye to your guests for the second or seventh! time. I mean, really, how much thanking and hugging and "farewell"-ing can you realistically do? If a brunch is in the cards for the happy newlyweds, cool, but no couple should feel obligated to feed their guests the morning after. Being that our wedding is going to be at a beach resort and the day after is Cinco de Mayo, I might just tell my guests to meet us on the beach for margaritas!
Did you have an after-wedding brunch? Do you think they're necessary?
Image via Joe Shlabotnik/Flickr
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Comments 14
Even the rehearsal dinner is optional. Do what you want its your wedding afterall.
Yeah, I've never heard of such a thing! And like Stacey said, it's your wedding, you don't even have to do a rehearsal dinner if you don't want it. Sounds to me like just another scam to get more wedding $$$.
I had a wedding-day brunch, but I sure as hell wasn't there. Hubby and I jetted out to our honeymoon as soon as the reception ended, but we left out guests with a paid for garden brunch so they could all talk together and say their last goodbyes one more time before separating to their respective homes/states/countries. It certainly wasn't necessary but we felt it was a nice touch, especially since we weren't hanging around to say goodbye. To each their own though.
I've heard of it... been to a few. The ones I went to were for those guests who had traveled a long way to attend the wedding, and were paying for their own hotel accomodations, and travel expenses. The brunch was paid for by the parents of the B&G, I believe, because many of the guests were their friends.
I certainly don't think it's necessary, but it was a really nice touch.
The day after party is in the early afternoon. The groom's family throws it.