Did you drink too much last night? Nursing a hangover? Is it too early in the day for me to ask you these questions? Here, have an aspirin and oh by the way: Taco Bell Beefy Nacho Burrito to you, Bright Eyes.
Let me repeat that for you: Beefy Nacho Burrito. Taco Bell just introduced its newest menu item, and it's so obvious that it was created exclusively for drunk/hungover people. For 99 cents you get ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream, and their new "Queso strips." It's for those times when you're craving nachos but you temporarily lack the manual dexterity to manage the chips and dip, so they've wrapped it all up into a nice, soft flour tortilla diaper for you.
Now what the hell are "Queso strips"?
They're cheese-flavored, masking tape-shaped tortilla chips, cousins to Taco Bell's Crunchy Red Strips and Flamin' Hot Fritos. ("Queso" is Spanish for cheese, don't you know. Taco Bell teaches you Spanish.) So, how long do those strips stay crunchy, enrobed in that gooey nacho cheese and sour cream? Well, if you're drunk, it doesn't matter because you're snarfing the thing down standing up at the ordering counter. Still crunchy after two seconds -- winning!
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It kind of reminds me of the sad baloney and Frito burritos my mom used to eat as a slightly neglected child. Only hers probably stayed crunchy longer.
Anyway, I think this will also appeal to people who are stoned. Doesn't that photo look like a hallucination straight out of The Big Lebowski? Drunk, stoned, hungover -- really, this is a demographic that needs its own special diet. It's about time. Taco Bell, the do-gooder laurels rest on your head today.
Would you ever try the Beefy Nacho Burrito?
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Image via Taco Bell