Wow, just when you thought the extreme decadence of billionaire Russian oligarchs couldn't get more gross, here's a caviar eating contest. Twelve big guys (er, eleven, plus a medium-sized woman). Shoveling thousands of dollars worth of fish eggs. Into their gaping maws. As fast as they possibly can.
I think I just threw up in my mouth. No, I'm pretty sure. I definitely just threw up in my mouth.
Don't get me wrong -- I love good caviar. In theory. I mean, I haven't exactly gotten to indulge a whole lot. But more than that, I hate seeing $70,000 worth of the stuff go down someone's gullet in a minute and 26 seconds. But let's watch anyway.
Actually, now that I've seen the video, I'm a little disappointed to see how genteel this all went down. Crystal dishes? Silver spoons? And they're all going so slowly! It's FISH EGGS, not hot dogs. You hardly even need to chew anything. Just shovel it all in. Competitive eating champion Kobayashi, show these fancy-pants how it's done.
THAT'S HOW YOU EAT EGGS, LADIES. He ate that huge bowl of chicken eggs in a minute and 30 seconds -- about the same time these ninnies slurped down their caviar. What a bunch of amateurs.
And what's with the chick in the middle delicately nibbling off her spoon while sitting on someone's lap? They just brought her in for decoration? Ugh, she's an insult to caviar-loving women everywhere. Here you guys, hand over one of those crystal goblets. Please let me have a turn at this.
Have you ever tried caviar? Did you like it?
Image via ITN News/YouTube