NOT Dunkin' Donuts' pork donutIt's not every day that I'm envious of the Chinese, but I just learned that they're about to get a most delectable treat: PORK DONUTS. Oh the lard-liscious joy! Dunkin' Donuts is planning to take over China using their secret weapon, donuts topped with shredded pork.
Oh what, that sounds gross to you? Please, aren't we the country that invented chicken and waffles? What's the difference? Who is with me on the pork donuts? I said, WHO IS WITH ME HERE ON THE PORK DONUTS? I'll tell you who is: Basketball star LeBron James.
Dunkin' hired LeBron to sell the pork donuts in China. Donuts and basketball -- I guess I get the connection. Whatever. He's great and all, but let's get back to the important matter: pork donuts. DD CEO Nigel Travis would like to remind us all of how very versatile donuts can be. "Donuts are a very flexible product. You can do savory donuts, you can do donuts with shredded pork -- that's in China."
But what about here? Why are we not getting the Porkin' Donuts?
Supposedly Dunkin' doesn't think Americans are quite ready for pork donuts, but I beg to differ. I've already tried the bacon donuts at Brooklyn restaurant Traif, and I'm almost afraid to tell you exactly how I felt about them because it may lead me to abandon this post and head straight for Brooklyn for more. I mean, think about it: Donuts. Bacon. Genius.
And this is just one place. Google bacon donuts and you'll see pork donuts are already a thing here. Pork can be flexible, too, just like donuts. That's it. I'm starting a Change.org petition demanding Dunkin' Donuts bring pork donuts here. Who's with me? I said ...
Would you ever try pork donuts -- maybe if it were a bacon maple donut?
Image via xmatt/Flickr