Cook a Super Tuesday 'Victory Dinner' for (Insert Winner Here)

super tuesday victory dinnerIt's Super Tuesday everyone, and after tonight, it's possible we'll know who the presidential nominee will likely be for the Republican party. Yahoo? Regardless, if you're Mitt, Newt, Rick S. (remember that other Rick?), or even Ron, you might have big reason to celebrate tonight. Instead of doing it Clinton style, which means vegan, gluten-free, and totally lady-like, these men are going to be eating like cave real men.

Lucky for the nominees, I've got some recipes for red-blooded American white men coming right up.


T-Bone Steak -- Rare

Go to the local ranch and point at your cow. Make sure it's fresh and even ask to see the slaughter if you have time. Now, you're going to want to eat this thing rare. That's right, you want to hear that t-bone moo. The best way to achieve rare steak perfection is to have your lady throw this steak on a medium-high grill and turn it so each edge gets a nice blackening. Then take it right off so the inside is still bleeding.

Mashed Potatoes

This is as close to a vegetable as you should ever, ever get. Arugula is for elitists. So just have a female in your house scrub and peel four Russet potatoes (from Idaho, of course). Place potatoes in a pot of boiling water -- enough water to cover the potatoes. Boil for 10-20 minutes, until you can stick a fork in the 'taters and they are soft. Drain water from the potatoes and place back on the stove over the lowest possible heat. Add half a stick of butter and one cup of milk and mash to pieces. Salt and pepper for flavor.

Apple Pie

Because you're one of those real Americans, why not try Rachael Ray's Apple Pie recipe. Ray is one of those entertainers that people in the middle of America LOVE. Just like you.

How would you celebrate a political victory?

Image via Just a Prairie Boy/Flickr

Read More >