kim kardashian valentines m&msWhat's it like to wake up as Kim Kardashian -- on Valentine's Day? Does a white, winged horse gently nuzzle your face while butterflies tickle your toes? Does the Kim Kardashian Gold atomizer start pumping Kim smell into the room while a curly-haired cherub gently strokes a harp? And does a wee, green leprechaun slide down a rainbow into a pot of gold -- oh wait, wrong holiday. And does a shirtless man with pecs of platinum show up carrying a Volkswagen-sized heart-shaped box full of personalized M&M's just for you?

"OMG, look, KAN-DEEEYYYYY! And it's in pretty Valentine's Day colors and they put my name on them and everything! Squeeeee! I'm the luckiest girl in the whole, wide world!"

Oh, okay, fine. I'm just jealous.

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Yes, the candy company sent Kim "The Cutest Thing Ever!" -- a whole batch of red and pink M&M's saying, "Happy VDay Kim!" She shared the chocolates with her fans, well via Twitter. And this, dear readers, is what being a celebrity is all about. Free dresses, free shoes, and free candy made just for you.* Oh why, oh why, did I not pursue that celebrity seal trainer idea when I had the chance? Hello, lifetime supply of free galoshes could have been mine.

But anyway, back to the candy, because that's what we really care about. I just want to know if she actually ate them, or if she put them in a pretty crystal dish for decoration and then stared them down while willing herself to go to the gym. "Cutest Thing Ever Kan-Deeey, you will not defeat me!" And then maybe she had some of her secret weapon, Raspberry Ketones, which boost your metabolism and no doubt cause you to hallucinate that the M&M's are actually talking to you: "Kiiiiiiiiiiimmmm, we looooooooooove youuuuuuuuu!"

*Yes, we know, anyone can order personalized M&M's.

What fun treats did you get for Valentine's Day?

 

Image via SplashNews