Surprise Your Meat-Loving Valentine With Beef Jerky Edible Underwear

diy brief jerky edible underwearIt's just what the love in your life wants: Beef jerky underwear. SSSSSomeone say SSSSexy meat underthings? OH YEAH, come and get it! I got your sausage right here. You'll be eating it all niii--

Oh my heavens, I seem to have gotten carried away. How embarrassing. I blush! But there's just something so inspiring about this DIY tutorial on making your own "brief" jerky edible underwear. Don't you think?

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They're not kidding, either. This is an actual ... thing. As in, someone at Etsy is making them, so why not you? The folks at Instructables don't think it's quite weird enough that you might buy beef jerky undies. Nah, they're gonna push the envelope even more and show you how to make your own. 'Cause that's how much you care. Nothing says "I love you" like air-cured organic grass-fed beef covering your 'nads. Nothing.

I think they'd look really hot with these meat leggings. Oh yeah, now you're cooking with gas!

By the way, the DIY beef jerky undies are 100 percent edible. For realz. No bedazzling, no synthetic strings. They even show you how to make your own thread out of Slim Jims. All the way, baby. There's a pattern to follow and everything. I just have one question -- are they serious with that hot sauce? That sounds like it could get a body in trouble.

So, okay. I know most edible underwear comes in sickeningly-sweet fruit flavors like cherry. And they're basically Fruit Roll-Ups cut like undies. On its own, that just doesn't sound very delicious (kinda depends on who's in them, amirite?). So this is the alternative, I guess. But it's not! Why? Because. There's always whipped cream.

Have you ever "tried" edible underwear?


Image via Instructables

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