Lady Gaga's Family + New Restaurant = Bad Romance

lady gagaLady Gaga's fallen victim to one of stardom's biggest misconceptions: If you're rich and famous, you're qualified to open a restaurant. It's simply not true, just ask Britney Spears, J. Lo, Steven Spielberg, Jermaine Dupri, and Dolly Parton. Each of them has tried to open an eatery and has failed. I guess Gaga's family didn't do their research, because they just opened Joanne, an Italian spot on New York City's Upper West Side. And word on the street is that it's not good. Not good at all.

The New York Post's famed restaurant critic went to check out the place on opening night, which, as Styleite points out, is a bit cruel since reviewers usually give new spots at least a few weeks to get things running smoothly, and what he had to say about the place wasn't pretty in the least. His headline for his review? You'll Gag on the Food at Gaga's. Oof. He goes on:


Appetizers took 50 minutes to arrive. Grilled calamari with bitter greens and radicchio were the worst I’ve had in a lifetime of squid-mongering, the salad unseasoned and the calamari like leather ... One-note orecchiette with shellfish recalled the flaccid pasta commonly doled out along Long Island’s Jericho Turnpike — or at 35,000 feet ... Unspeakably fatty veal osso bucco was $38 ... Clueless busboys wandered the floor, performing no other function than to pour tap water into sparkling.

That hissing sound you're hearing is the deflation of little monster hearts all across the nation. Poor things. Gaga's parents Joseph and Cynthia Germanotta hired experienced chef Art Smith, but it seems to not have mattered at all. Sounds like everything sucked.

You'd think that Gaga -- who's, what, the most famous woman in the world? -- could've done a better job in helping her parents get this restaurant up to par, but I guess she was busy putting out hit records or something because, man, what a disaster.

With Gaga's performing talent, no need to try and force a family cooking talent. But hey, at least this horrible eatery isn't the family's bread and butter -- no matter if it goes down in figurative or literal flames, her parents will be a-okay. I'm sure Gaga's got their back.

Have you ever had a good experience at a celebrity-owned restaurant?


Photo via Pacific Coast News

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