Hilarious Vegan Video Exposes Their True Wackiness (VIDEO)


shit vegans sayFinally, something vegans and meat-eaters can agree about: The new "Sh*t Vegans Say" video is HI-larious. Ari Solomon, AKA @VeganAri, based his video on the beloved "Sh*t Girls Say" videos. Not only have I seen vegans posting and laughing about Ari's video, it cracked meat-eating me up, too -- especially when I saw my worst suspicious about vegans confirmed. OMG, they really do hang out at the park with binoculars scoping out all the "bitches" and "assholes" wearing fur!

But I think this vegan video might need a little decoding before it's ready to go mainstream. Girls? We know all about them. But vegans have a few surprises up their sleeves. Like -- some don't believe in eating honey. "WHAT?!?" you say? "What does being vegan have to do with freaking HONEY?!?" Think about it a minute. And then find out all the many ways vegans can be even nuttier than you ever suspected.

Okay, let's take on this honey thing. Who makes honey? That's right, bees. Which makes eating honey kind of like eating milk and eggs. You are exploting the bees!

Vitamix? Yes, especially if you're not into cooking. Simply run all those veggies through the expensive, high-powered juicer and ta-da! A liquid meal. A vitamix is almost as adored by the typical vegan as their spayed pet dog.

Who is Kathy Freston and why is she on Ellen? Kathy Freston is a revered vegan cookbook author. And did you know Ellen Degeneres is also vegan? By the way, Kathy loves the vegan video. And I think Ellen needs to have Ari on her show, for reals.

Vegans have their own movies and TV shows. "Earthlings" is "a powerful and informative documentary about society’s treatment of animals" narrated by Joaquin Phoenix with music by Moby. I think you know where that's going. "Forks Over Knives" -- another vegan propaganda film. And "Whale Wars" is an Animal Planet show about "42 crazy die-hards with a mission... to end Japanese whaling."

Food is a puzzle for vegans. Always asking questions about the menu at restaurants! And reading the ingredients lists at the grocery store, what a nightmare. What is "autolyzed yeast" anyway? ARE YOU SURE THESE ARE VEGAN?!?

One more thing: "Did you Happy Cow Palm Springs?" It sounded like gibberish to me at first, but after repeated listens and Googling I discovered Happy Cow is website that searches for all the vegan restaurants in a given city. You "Happy Cow" the same way you "Google" something.

Are vegans still a mystery to you?


Image via YouTube



vegetarian, themed


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

LucyC... LucyCarrington

Is this article supposed to be funny? If so - I don't get it. To me it just sounds very disrespectful - and boring.

MMbales MMbales

I had vegan friends in college and I always made sure that  we had vegan brownies whenever we had bake sales. They are not a mystery to me, they are just idealist. I was just reading a story about organic farming yesterday that said if we went back to chemical free farming we would only have enough food for 4 of the 7 billion people on the planet. It is a good thing everyone isn't as idealistic. 

jagam... jagamama0710

LMAO That's funny. 

Although I'll be ready for the offended vegans to come posting about how disrespectful this is and how you're going to die because you eat meat.

Vegans aren't really a mystery to me and I respect their choice to eat the way they want, but I could never be one personally. I have a big problem with vegans who look down on people who aren't vegans though.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I have never heard anyone use "happy cow" as a verb. Forks Over Knives is not vegan propaganda, it's a documentary about preventing and treating disease by eating a healthy diet. It's available on Netflix streaming if anyone is interested. And really, you'd have to be a complete dimwit not to realize that honey is an animal product.

I know there are some weird vegans out there but really the vast majority are perfectly normal people who just happen to prefer a healthy diet. I don't own a vitamix, I don't ask endless questions in restaurants (lots of info on the interwebs), and I don't scrutinize the ingredients and nutritional info at the grocery store anymore than anyone else should. It helps that I don't buy much with an ingredients list of more than a couple of items I guess, even when I ate an omni diet I made my own food rather than buying processed crap.

MrsSi... MrsSimonsen

Vegans freak me out. I'll eat what I want, thanks. Veggies are living things too, ha!

nonmember avatar CrysVeg

The video was meant to be a joke (it was funny), not an accurate depiction of how all vegans act. No, vegans typically don't stand in parks and say hateful things about people who wear fur, leather, etc. And I don't see what is so wacky about inquiring about ingredients when you have a dietary issue. Or what is so wacky about choosing foods which are not derived directly from animal suffering (surely we don't have a right to force our beliefs on others, but what in the world is so absurd about adhering to our own personal ethic ourselves?). I'm not sure if your article is meant to be funny (it really isn't) or if you actually think these rather hateful things (while accusing vegans of being the intolerant ones).

.seal... .sealuchas.

I thought the shit women say was better! LOL!

niami... niamibunni

Not very funny. 

Try living with food intolerances. 

Lucre... LucretiaMcEvil

I don't give people with eating disorders attention.

NookB... NookBoookMom

LOL< lighten up people geez, take everything w/ a grain of salt , it was funny,

1-10 of 18 comments 12 Last