Beer Is Unlikely Hero for Man Stuck in Snow Drift

frozen beerOkay survivalists, what's the ONE THING you should keep in your car in case of emergency? Beer. Oh yes, beer. It solves so many problems if you're stranded in your car, as Clifton Vial discovered when he got stuck in a snowdrift in the middle of Alaska for three days. He survived on nothing but frozen Coors Light the whole time!

The beers were frozen so solid, in fact, that he had to cut the tops off to "eat" them. Oooh, frozen beer pops! That kind of sounds like a great summertime treat -- except poor Clifton would have been freezing his own tail off at the same time. But still, if you ask me, beer almost sounds like the best thing he could have had on hand given the circumstances.

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I mean, think about it. You'll need something to drink, something to give you some energy, and something to keep you sort of entertained or at least mellow, right? Beer. It's loaded with carbohydrates. Personally I find beer very filling. I have a college friend who, when she didn't have money for both, would always choose beer over bread. Beer kind of is food -- it's barley juice that just happens to have some alcohol in there, too.

Beer has water (ahem, especially light beer), so there's your source of hydration. Of course, it's also a diuretic. And he was surrounded by snow, which is frozen water. No worries about dehydration, I guess. But beer is fortified water!

"I felt pretty pissed with myself," Clifton says. But at least he could comfort himself a little with beer. Feeling a little less angry now, Clifton? No? Maybe you need to have another light beer. And another. And then we'll ask you why the hell you didn't have a cellphone on you!

Not all stories about beer end well, but this one does. When he didn't show for work, a search party went out looking for him. “I shouldn't have been out there by myself unprepared for what I knew was possible,” he said after he finished the Snickers bar and orange soda rescuers fed him. And I couldn't agree more. Next time he should stock his car with much stronger beer.

Could you survive three days in your car on light beer alone?

 

Image via 88rabbit/Flickr

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