cheese ballHave I got the holiday entertainment solution for you! It's spectacular. It's decadent. It's nutty. It's a riddle wrapped up in blue cheese inside Emmentaler. It's the glorious 12-layer cheese ball! A 5-pound wonder of cream cheese, sausage, pecans, bacon -- did I mention this cheese ball has bacon? Yes, it's the cheese ball of your dreams, or of my dreams, anyway.

The magic elves at Chow have created the ultimate cheese ball recipe. The 12 layers look like a cheese-lover's dream come true when you slice a wedge -- and I bet it's worth every last hideously fattening calorie. Readers, meet the new gingerbread house.

Oh yeah. Who wants to spend hours trying to frosting-glue sheets of gingerbread together only to let the whole thing sit around for weeks growing stale? Yeah, they're pretty (well, not mine, but other people's are). But by December 26, or whenever you eat it, the gingerbread is like cement, and doesn't it seem like the prettier the candy is, the less delicious it is? I'm looking at you, peppermint candies.

No, give me a giant cheese ball. It's just as pretty -- go on, take a look at the cross section: Hello gorgeous! And I bet it tastes amazing. You can have your candy canes. Give me some goat cheese mixed with walnuts mixed with chives mixed with dried figs! Chow says it wasn't just a cool stunt, people "went crazy for it." It serves 24 people as an hors d'oeuvre -- or 5 people if you serve it as a main course, which is how I would roll this cheese ball. Aren't all the major food groups represented somewhere in there?

Just don't start counting the calories, because this baby has got to be one colossal calorie fest. Can't you hear the cardiologists hyperventilating? Just sit back, enjoy the cheesy lipids, and receive the praise and adoration of your friends and family. Go on -- be the hero of your next holiday party!

Are you going to attempt to build the turducken of cheese balls? Which do you like better, sweet holiday treats or savory?

 

Image via lisa_eglington/Flickr