Happy holidays, everybody. It's time to eat and drink like there's no tomorrow and start complaining about friends and relatives who ruin your good time! Come on, you know you've been there. And just in case you haven't, Buzzfeed came up with a handy-dandy infographic on which people you can totally dog on for the holidays. The Worst Dinner Guest Ever, that's who.
It's clear to me, as 1/5 of the worst dinner guest ever, that one would have to meet all five of these requirements in order to be deemed "the worst." Still, I can't help but feel that my life-threatening disease might be bringing you down.
Here's how you can please the "worst" dinner guest and go about your day of kicking puppies and setting fire to ants.
1) If you know someone has an allergy or a politically motivated way of eating food that you do not approve of, why not skip the invite? Alternately, ask that person to bring their own dish, since you have no intention of making any allowances for anyone.
2) Remember, those of us who get sick due to food we eat really hate it. We're not trying to be a pain in the ass. Believe me, nothing would make me happier than to chow down on your puff pastry -- NOTHING -- but I can't on account of the sickness. If that makes me the worst dinner guest, then please refer back to #1, or try and garner just a little bit of sympathy during this, the most wonderful time of the year. Douchebag.
3) I know it's not easy to remake your menu, and no one is asking you to do so. (Unless you have one of those types in your family, if so, please refer again to #1.) There are a zillion websites for great recipes that are nut-free, dairy-free, and yes, gluten-free. Making a small effort will help to chill everyone out at your holiday table.
4) Keep your sense of humor. I know when friends offer me up a bucket of gluten at the dinner table, it's one of those "Hey, we know you're weird, but let's joke about it" moments. But you know what's not funny? Being called the worst dinner guest ever.
And finally, if you're still just not willing to bend a little bit to provide safe food for all of your guests,
5) Provide wine, and lots of it.
Do you think people with food allergies, preferences, or diseases are the worst dinner guests ever?
Image via Buzzfeed