John Travolta Needs Lessons on How to Eat Fast Food

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john travoltaOkay, here's a really funny "imagine if" scenario for you: Imagine if you were an employee at a KFC in England. The phone rings, and it's some guy who claims to be John Travolta's rep, asking to reserve a table for Mr. Travolta "and his friends."

What would you do?

If I were that employee, I would assume the person on the phone was trying to put one over on me and respond with something like, "Look man, if John Travolta wants to chow down on a big greasy bucket o' chicken parts, he can come stand in line behind all the other future heart attack patients."

Which is exactly what the real KFC employee did when he got that call. Because yes, that phone call really happened. But it WAS Travolta's rep!!!

You can't blame the employee for thinking such an outrageous request was phony. You CAN, however, blame Travolta for making a request so outrageous anybody would think it was phony.

I understand, to a point ... Travolta has clearly not lived like a commoner for decades. How is he supposed to know that you can't make reservations at KFC??

I blame his "handlers." Why didn't anybody warn the guy?

In the future, John Travolta, I would like to offer you a few tips for a successful fast food dining experience:

  1. At fine restaurants, good manners are expected. At fast food restaurants, good manners should be neither expected or attempted. This will only result in confusion.
  2. At fine restaurants, suitable attire is required. At fast food restaurants, anything more formal than that stained t-shirt you got for free at the opening of a hardware store is considered "pretentious."
  3. At fine restaurants, you are accustomed to tipping your server 20%, at least. At fast food restaurants, if you try to slip an employee extra cash, he will most likely drop a dime bag of something illegal in your pocket in response.

So, John Travolta, I hope you find this advice helpful the next time you get a hankerin' for a ginormous portion of wings.

What would you tell John Travolta about eating at fast food restaurants?


Image via Dylan Ashe/Flickr

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