John Travolta Needs Lessons on How to Eat Fast Food


john travoltaOkay, here's a really funny "imagine if" scenario for you: Imagine if you were an employee at a KFC in England. The phone rings, and it's some guy who claims to be John Travolta's rep, asking to reserve a table for Mr. Travolta "and his friends."

What would you do?

If I were that employee, I would assume the person on the phone was trying to put one over on me and respond with something like, "Look man, if John Travolta wants to chow down on a big greasy bucket o' chicken parts, he can come stand in line behind all the other future heart attack patients."

Which is exactly what the real KFC employee did when he got that call. Because yes, that phone call really happened. But it WAS Travolta's rep!!!

You can't blame the employee for thinking such an outrageous request was phony. You CAN, however, blame Travolta for making a request so outrageous anybody would think it was phony.

I understand, to a point ... Travolta has clearly not lived like a commoner for decades. How is he supposed to know that you can't make reservations at KFC??

I blame his "handlers." Why didn't anybody warn the guy?

In the future, John Travolta, I would like to offer you a few tips for a successful fast food dining experience:

  1. At fine restaurants, good manners are expected. At fast food restaurants, good manners should be neither expected or attempted. This will only result in confusion.
  2. At fine restaurants, suitable attire is required. At fast food restaurants, anything more formal than that stained t-shirt you got for free at the opening of a hardware store is considered "pretentious."
  3. At fine restaurants, you are accustomed to tipping your server 20%, at least. At fast food restaurants, if you try to slip an employee extra cash, he will most likely drop a dime bag of something illegal in your pocket in response.

So, John Travolta, I hope you find this advice helpful the next time you get a hankerin' for a ginormous portion of wings.

What would you tell John Travolta about eating at fast food restaurants?

Image via Dylan Ashe/Flickr

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tuffy... tuffymama

I would tell him to QUIT IT, because he's gotten porky and his bfri may dump his tubby rear end.

Lovin... LovingKentucky

You don't have to "live like a commoner" to know fast food restaurants don't take reservations. 

Peajewel Peajewel

This is funny.  Maybe he just wanted the dining room cleared so he could eat in there with his people and not be bothered? 

Jeric... Jerichos_Mommy

Definitely none of the above.  How 'bout just relax and enjoy yourself.

mille... millerbunch

enjoy the food :)

tough... toughasmom

FUNNY! I hope he remembered to bring a fine bottle of Chardonnay for his poultry dish.

nonmember avatar Val

"At fast food restaurants, good manners should be neither expected or attempted."
Wow, elitist much? As someone who has had no choice but to work in fast food to put myself through college, I'm glad not everyone has this attitude. Thanks for encouraging my customers not to treat me with basic human dignity, because my job isn't frustrating enough already...

Kristen Riley

Hahahahaha! I am glad he was told to wait in line like everyone else! I don't care who you are, if I have been in line for as long as most KFC's here are, you aren't cutting me. Its crap. You can wait just like everyone who has been in line for 20 minutes.

tuffy... tuffymama

Chardonnay with KFC? Better be an UNOAKED chard. I would be more apt to go with a crisp sauvignon blanc or even a light gruner veltliner.

And to Val: word!

nonmember avatar becka

Val, I could not agree with you more! I worked in fast food for years, not only did I make pretty good money, but I had excellent benefits, in fact I was quite surprised to hear that I actually made about 15k more per year than the state troopers who stopped in our place did (and that did not include the yearly bonus I made). It is customers like you that I have warned my teenage daughter about comming across, those that think just because you work for fast food you must have the iq of a slug and then try to treat you accordingly! There are many people who would be surprised at just how smart many of the fast food managers and employees actually are; my teen is an honor student (taking all honors classes, A in all 6 classes),and decided to work in fast food because the pay was higher than any other place that would hire a teen. We have taught her that no matter where she works, she should do so with pride and always give her best, even if she intends to leave this job once she leaves for college she should always have respect for herself, her co-workers, and her customers (even the ones with the same attitude as the writer of this article)!

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