Here's the Skinny on Halloween Candy Calories

halloween peepsHave you been to the candy aisle yet this month? Holy bat wings -- there are all sorts of fun, new Halloween candy on the shelf this year, plus some of the oldies-but-goodies that come out every October. Pretzels with chocolate seem big this season, and there's more dark chocolate than ever before. It's like they're creating new treats just for me!

But hold on there, self. Let's look at those calorie counts -- do I dare? 

I know Halloween without candy is like Easter without Jesus, but when you start adding up the numbers in your typical trick-or-treat bag, it starts to look, well, SCARY! Not that I'm the one trick-or-treating. Or that I'm stealing from my kid's stash. Because I am so not. I would never! Well, maybe I would. But what if I based my candy theft on calories? Which candies would I, ahem, borrow?


I have a very complex algorithm that factors calories per serving against potential deliciousness. It goes something like this:

calories per serving \div \!\, potential deliciousness (by a factor of 10) \propto \!\, what's on sale = ... where was I?

And now, the results of my exhaustive study.

Pretzel M&M'S

Calories: 180

Deliciousness factor: Are you kidding? Salty, sweet, and crunchy -- one of my favorite combinations.

Worth it? Hey, they're under 200, so I say yeah.

Peanut Butter M&M'S 

Calories: 220

Deliciousness factor: Pretty good, though I like a saltier peanut butter and the proportion of chocolate to peanut butter could be better.

Worth it? I would probably hesitate a moment and then pass.

Halloween Kit Kat 

Calories: 210

Deliciousness factor: Ugh, white chocolate dyed orange. No thank you.

Worth it? Pass.

Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins

Calories: 90

Deliciousness factor: Love the Peanut Butter Cup no matter what shape it comes in.

Worth it? Wowza. If you only eat one "snack size," it's just 90 calories! That's a big "if," though. Can you stop at one? I say worth it.

Hershey's Tombstones Milk Chocolate

Calories: 200

Deliciousness factor: Hmph, Hershey's milk chocolate is nothing special, no matter what it looks like.

Worth it? Nah.

Hershey's Tombstones Cookies & Cream

Calories: 220

Deliciousness factor: I guess it's a step up from the plain bar.

Worth it? Higher in calories and only marginally tastier: I say give me a real cookie instead.

Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice

Calories: 210

Deliciousness factor: Just white chocolate with a pumpkin-flavored outer layer. There are no "natural" pumpkin flavors in there. Not so delicious unless you love white chocolate.

Worth it? Pass. I'll have a slice of pumpkin pie instead.

Halloween Ring Pops

Calories: 60

Deliciousness factor: Don't these all taste the same? But I do love me some edible jewelry. Sometimes pretty candy seems to taste better, know what I mean?

Worth it? Under 100 calories, lasts a long time, and you get to wear it -- I say yes!

Halloween Peeps (pumpkins and ghosts)

Calories: 110

Deliciousness factor: So disgustingly overly sweet, they're kind of good.

Worth it? Yeah, I'd eat these. They're so cute!

Snickers Dark

Calories: 170

Deliciousness factor: At last, my candy bar dreams have come true! 

Worth it? Those Milky Way Dark bars nearly undid me back when they came out. I'm afraid I'll totally lose it once I try the Snickers Dark. But hey, only 170 calories in the snack size? Maybe I'll risk it.

What's your calories-per-Halloween candy equation?

Image via Adriana Velez

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