New 'Diet' Dr. Pepper Doesn't Want Women Drinking It

dr. pepper ten ad campaignAll right Dr. Pepper. I get it. You're tired of being known as a diet drink for girls. You want to get that Pepper feeling going in both genders, thus selling more of your soda pop. Plus, you're from Texas where men and manly men aren't going to give up sugar just because you said so. So I get your new ad campaign that specifically excludes women in trying to lure men over to your new diet soda, Dr. Pepper Ten.

In fact, even if you want to 'Like' Dr. Pepper Ten on Facebook, you're not allowed to unless you've got man parts. They don't want your lady likes, and you can't come to their FB party. Even if you pledge to buy a case of Dr. Pepper Ten every week!

Which is why I had to work around their anti-woman plot and employ my husband as a Dr. Pepper spy. Here's what I found out about men and their sodas.

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  • Men like drinks that have the number '10' in them. This is why only women enjoy Diet Dr. Pepper, and men need their separate diet soda that boasts "10 Bold Tasting Calories."
  • Men like watching videos with pretend light saber fights. I guess it makes them thirsty. (But, as the FB site points out, I'm a woman and I wouldn't understand.)
  • Men like to shoot things like rainbows, unicorns, high heels, and Dr. Pepper Ten cans? That last one is confusing as I thought they would want to drink it, not shoot it. Also, somehow cowboy hats are involved.
  • Man-Cronyms are not very clever. But unless you're a man, you won't even get to see them on the Dr. Pepper site. So I'll let you in on a few. B.E.L.T. stands for "because eating loosens trousers." But I'm thinking they really want us to know about B.O.L.D. -- which means "Boycott Old Lady Drinks." You know, like Diet Dr. Pepper.

So with all this man-marketing, I asked my husband if being a member of this exclusive club inspired him to pick up an ice cold Dr. Pepper Ten. He said, "Yes. All day. I want to drink it now. Please give it to me right now."

I think he might have been kidding, but we'll see once we get to the grocery store.

If you're a lady, will you drink Dr. Pepper Ten?


Image via Facebook/Dr. Pepper Ten

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