Pizza Vending Machines Are Pretty Much a Terrible Idea

pizzaWhen I first heard about pizza vending machines, I thought my prayers had been answered. Hot, fresh pizza by the tap of a button, yes please! I was so turned on by the idea that I just had to have pizza for lunch. You can't read about pizza and then not eat it, it's just not possible. So I bounced down the street here in New York to grab a slice and ... I had a thought bubble: What exactly would these pizza vending machines accomplish?


Because getting some delicious 'za on a street corner in Manhattan is pretty damn easy. A vending machine seems pretty pointless. Especially since they're being rolled out first in NYC. Come on, pizza-vending-machine makers! Know your market. They say their invention is really awesome and gives you great pizza in 90 seconds, but that's what a pizzeria is for. You go in, point to the slice you want, they hand it to you on a paper plate, you hand them $3, and you're outta there. Doesn't take that much time.

I could see a pizza vending machine being more successful in places where slices aren't readily available. Maybe put one next to the movie-renting Redboxes in smaller towns or throw some on college campuses, but it doesn't make any sense in NYC.

The machines, which hold enough fresh ingredients to make 150 pies a day, allow you to choose your own toppings and watch it bake. Ooh. I'm impressed. Not. I just want pizza in my mouth as fast as possible. I don't need to watch the cheese sizzle and a mechanical arm sprinkle on the pepperoni.

I like the concept, but I don't think this thing's got legs. I don't think the novelty of it is enough to bring in customers, I don't think the 90-second speed is that alluring, and I don't think the machine will make a tasty pizza. Who knows. Maybe in 10 years we'll all wonder what life was like before there were automated pizza machines, but I highly doubt it.

Are you interested in a pizza vending machine?


Photo via The Pizza Review/Flickr

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