'Vulgar' Food Porn License Plate Proves Our Minds Are in the Gutter

Tofu: naughty by nature?
Who knew vegetarians could be such perverts? A Tennessee woman's vanity license plate has been rejected by the state Department of Motor Vehicles for vulgarity. The plates said "ILVTOFU," as in, "I love tofu." Get it? Except that's not how the DMV read it.

No, like most Americans, state bureaucrats have more sex on the brain than food, and what they read was "I love to f--" ... well, you know. Clearly this woman was issuing wanton invitations for sexual congress while driving, they thought. After all, who in Tennessee expects to see "love" and "tofu" together? I mean, that's a pretty meat-loving state. IH8TOFU, sure, that makes sense. Oh wait, I guess you could read that the wrong way, too.


Actually, Tennessee isn't as meat-loving as you might think. There are a growing number of vegetarians in the state, if the Vegetarian Scene in East Tennessee website is anything to go by.

Now Colorado is another story -- and the same thing happened there. Colorado is beef ranching country and home of the annual National Western Stock Show. Plus, medical marijuana is legal. So it wasn't surprising when poor vegetarian Kelley Coffman-Lee had her tofu-lovin' license plate rejected on grounds of vulgarity. "I love tofu; it doesn't mean anything bad," she insisted. Sorry, Kelley, there are too many carnivorous pot smokers on those mountainous roads to allow a provocative plate like that!

It kind of reminds me of all the Vietnamese pho restaurants with potentially naughty names, like "Pho King Way." How are you NOT supposed to think of sex when you read that? Is it just me? 

As for whether or not the license plate should be banned for vulgarity, well, maybe that is going too far. I mean, I don't envy parents driving around with snickering 11-year-olds in the back seat -- but what about freedom of speech?

On the other hand, you could make a good case for the license plate being too distracting -- see above re: Colorado drivers and pot smoking. Plus, it would get so tedious constantly having people pull up next to you yelling, "I love to f--- you, too!" and seeing their disappointed faces fall when you respond, "Tofu, moron, I love TOFU."


Image via Rex Roof/Flickr

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