Every year state and county fairs across the country try to outdo each other (and, let's be honest, even themselves) with ridiculous, wacky, and sometimes truly disgusting state fair fare. So far this year we've seen Maggot Melt Sandwiches and Deep-Fried Kool-Aid -- but that was all before the big kahuna, the State Fair of Texas, entered the fray with its impressive list of Big Texas Choice finalists.
The award for the "most creative" dish went to Fried Bubblegum. But as it turns out, you can't actually "fry" gum -- it just doesn't work. So what exactly is all that pink stuff?
According to this news clip, "Fried Bubblegum" is marshmallows mixed with bubblegum extract, then rolled in pink batter, fried, and, finally, drizzled with blue icing and sprinkle with Chiclets. Some people are complaining on the Internet that this dish is "misleading" because it's not technically gum. To these people I say: Hey, at least it's not Fried Butter! Ugh.
Check out these other State Fair of Texas finalist dishes that are sure to blow your mind!
Never in my wildest dreams (or nightmares) could I have imagined the Buffalo Flapjack -- a buffalo chicken strip skewer is coated in flapjack batter, rolled in jalapeno bread crumbs, and deep fried to a golden brown, and served with a side of syrup.
It's hard to believe, but you're looking at Deep Fried Texas Salsa. How in the world do you fry salsa, you ask? Dip it in masa and cover it in tortilla chips before dunking in the fryer -- DUH.
Behold the Walking Taco -- seasoned hamburger meat, lettuce, onion, tomato, grated cheese, sour cream, and salsa all served up in a nacho cheese-flavored Doritos bag. If you have no words, you wouldn't be the first.
Now don't be scared but this is El Bananarito. If you're one of those people who have a hard time with context, I can help: It's a deep fried banana rolled in a flour tortilla and topped with whipped cream, powdered sugar, cinnamon, hot caramel, and chocolate syrup.
Hans' Kraut Balls are browned pork sausage, onion, garlic, and sauerkraut all rolled up and deep fried. Deep fried meatiness? Surely, they could have come up with a better name.
Now this mass that you are gazing on with both lust and likely confusion is Fried Autumn Pie. It's puff pastry infused with pumpkin, cream cheese, powdered sugar, and fall spices -- all deep fried.
Last but not least is Deep Fried Pineapple Upside Down Cake -- pineapple rings dipped in cake batter, fried, and coated with a caramel, sugar, and cinnamon glaze. Guess I'll be seeing you in Texas, folks!
Images via Kevin Brown for the State Fair of Texas