roast chickenNew details from Kim Kardashian's wedding are emerging by the second (this just in! Khloe ate a donut at the reception!) but no detail is more important to me than the wedding menu. Fortunately, the peeps over at TMZ got a copy of Kim and Kris' special day bill of fare, and by all accounts, it's pretty damn boring.

Was it because Kim wanted to make sure no one at her wedding got bloated? Or worse, gained a pound? Was it because she was trying to save money? Was it because caterer Wolfgang Puck secretly hates the Kardashian family? I mean, what other reasons could there be that explain this lackluster menu!

Kim had about 450 friends, family, and E! crew members at her wedding in Montecito, but I'm willing to be half of them left hungry. Here's what was served:

First course:

  • Santa Barbara Heirloom Tomatoes
  • Buffalo Mozzarella, Tomato Chips
  • Basil, Salad Leaves

Second course:

  • Hand Formed Agnolotti Pasta
  • Sweet Corn, Marscapone, Summer Truffles

Third course:

  • Roasted Chicken, Yukon Gold Potato Puree
  • Caramelized Brussel Sprouts
  • Summer truffles, Rosemary

Fourth course:

  • Dessert surprise

So. Allow me to translate. The first course was a caprese salad, the second was ravioli, the third was chicken with a side of baby food, and the fourth turned out to be Krispy Kreme donuts (get it!? KK donuts??!) along with her $20,000 wedding cake.

Pretty sure there were better options on my elementary school lunch menu -- at least that had a choice of two: tator tots, fruit cup, or green beans. OK, that may be a little harsh, but it was a Kardashian wedding for crying out loud! I think we all expected the best of the best, or at least the most expensive things regardless of quality, but this menu lacks both excellence and excitement. I would've turned up my hoity toity nose at this dinner and would've marched right over to Ryan Seacrest's table to demand an explanation.

Because he planned this whole thing, right?

What do you think of the menu?

Photo via jules:stonesoup/Flickr