We Deserve to Be Mocked for Buying Food Like This

67

frozen pizzaThere's a video circulating by a couple of young Englishmen, Alex and Liam, who take a tour through Walmart. They marvel at how Americans can buy pork cutlets and rifles all under one gigantic roof. And they can't resist mocking the food they find.

It's a bit much coming from the country that invented dishes called "bubble and squeak" and "toad in the hole." So fine, Beavis and Butt-Head of England, what's so funny about America's food?

If you judge Americans by the "treats" Alex and Liam come across at the retail behemoth, I'm afraid they may be right to make fun of us mercilessly. Walmart's eats don't exactly paint the most flattering portrait of U.S. tastes and cuisine. 

Observation: At the deli counter, the cheeky Brits remark, "This is the first cheese we've seen so far that doesn't come in liquid form!"

Implication: We like food to be versatile -- portable, even -- often at the expense of it actually tasting good.

Observation: Alex and Liam discover a sliced ham-and-cheese loaf -- ham product with blobs of cheese product mixed in and cut into sandwich-friendly slices. "That is the laziest product I've ever seen," they say. "There's nothing appealing about this in the slightest."

Implication: We want food that multi-tasks, even if the end result is unappetizing.

Observation: The boys read this silly sign at Walmart: "Try pork tonight. And enjoy something extraordinary."

Implication: We want our food to be magic. And we have unrealistic expectations of pork (unless Walmart sells pork belly?).

Observation: What does Liam want from his Coke? No sugar plus vanilla flavoring. And look, there it is! Zero Coke with no sugar and vanilla flavoring. "It's got all the things!" they giggle.

Implication: It's ridiculous to want a soda with a lot of bells and whistles.

Observation: The lads discover microwavable pizzas that come with side dishes, like cookies, boneless chicken wings or bread sticks.

Implication: Americans are obsessed with food that's "convenient," and are willing to sacrifice flavor and quality in the process. 

Observation: Alex and Liam find gallon jugs filled with iced tea. "I like tea as much as any British guy, but I find it less appealing when it's in a petrol can," one chides.

Implication: We like iced tea enough to buy large quantities of it but not enough to brew our own, which is unbelievably easy and less expensive. Also, we use too much gas to keep it in one-gallon jugs. Please! We need those for oil and antifreeze! And maybe fruit punch.

Observation: The boys discover a self-serve blood pressure machine.

Implication: Eating all that microwavable pizza with cookie side dishes has raised our blood pressure to such high levels that we need to check it while grocery shopping -- and it's a darn good thing the pharmacy is just a few feet away!

Oh boys, if only you'd spent some time in the produce aisle. 

Psst. Alex, Florida is the Sunshine State, not California.

Does Alex and Liam's trip to Walmart resemble your own grocery store experience?


Image via uberculture/Flickr

grocery shopping, food

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momto... momtolittleg

No.  We shop at Walmart when we don't have a good coupon for the "real" grocery store, but we get all the same products that we normally get.  But we're just not into the burrito+pizza deals.  =)

nonmember avatar Stacey

I may shop at WalMart but at least my teeth are straight and pearly white LOL

Robin Meloncon

Walmart is disgusting. I only shop there when forced - and I'm only forced when I have no other choice because they've driven everyone else in town out of business. And don't tell me people have to shop there because of prices - my husband doesn't make much, we live on only one income, and I go to Walmart MAYBE once a year. Take a little pride in your purchases.

Torto... Tortoise77

go live in another country that is not the USA. then come back to the USA and you will be in awe. 

LindA... LindAngeLevi

I understand why they make fun of us. My family of three eats mostly whole foods....but almost everyone else we know....wow, the only whole foods yoy will find in there home is milk eggs abd meat....but honestly thats nit even good for you. Their milk is from cows pumped with hormones. Their chickens are on steroids and their eggs i dont even wanna talk about the chickens living conditions. Its pretty sad. Its very true that the majority of americans dont care what they eat. My son is only one and the hell i have to go through so nobody gives him cake ice cream cheetos or anything else im not comfortable with is pretty sad. My family and friends cant understand why he cant eat french fries or pizza sauce. They cant understand why chicken marinated in soy sauce or any other sauce is a no no. They seriously get mad that i wont give that to my son....how sad that americans think that a 1 yr old that doesnt eat junk is such a sad thing.

momto... momtolittleg

Maybe my Walmart is uncharacteristic, but it REALLY is no different than the grocery store, and it IS cheaper.  I get organic milk there, I get produce there, I get the same brands that I usually get.  Even if I HAD the money, I wouldn't shop at the overpriced Whole Foods and such.

sodapple sodapple

It depends who are we shopping for. If we are lazy we can always pick up something frozen and convenient or cook home something healthy.

Water... Water_geM

Oh please,like the uk doesnt have processed food.

JenBr... JenBrooks76

Those are definitely not microwavable pizzas. Ridiculous yes, microwavable, no.


I really do not like going to Walmart...I only go there if I can not find what I am looking for anywhere else, or it is after closing hours for the other stores.

tazdvl tazdvl

No it doesn't

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