Cheesecake Factory 'SkinnyLicious Menu' Can't Make Up for Calorie-Laden Insanity

cheesecake factory saladDieters, rejoice! The Cheesecake "Leave 5 Pounds Heavier" Factory has unveiled its "SkinnyLicious™ menu." With almost 50 new choices, the "skinny" entrees have only 590 calories or fewer, and feature -- What? Can it be? -- actual fresh vegetables in their natural state (i.e. not pureed with corn syrup and batter-fried). All the dishes look tasty. And they don't appear to be deprivation meals either. They resemble what we should be eating instead of the 2,730-calorie Bistro Shrimp Pasta.

Which gives me an idea: What if the SkinnyLicious menu were just the regular menu and the original menu were renamed the FattyLicious menu?

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I mean, think about it: 2,000-calorie entrees are kind of extraordinary. Restaurant food is usually higher in calories no matter where you go, but Cheesecake Factory really takes it up another level. And it kind of makes me wonder -- is it even worth it, or is there a calorie point of diminishing returns where you turn into Mr. Creosote from that famous Monty Python sketch?

Let's call Cheesecake Factory's normal menu what it really is: Crazy Calorie-Laden Insanity. You know you're inviting sugar-and-fat-mayhem right into your body when you eat there. If anything, the SkinnyLicious menu is actually a return to sanity, though ordering from it in the midst of all the gastro-decadence is going to take an iron will.

Oh I know, I know. You "don't eat there every day." You "don't finish the entire entree by yourself." You "go there only for special occasions." You "would like to indulge a little without the food police ruining the fun."  

But it's just like with fast food. If we're all so wise and understand the calories in/fat cells expand equation, why are obesity rates rising? Why are 20 to 30 percent of us dangerously overweight? What is it going to take to turn that around? And who else is now craving shrimp pasta?

By the way, that hostess who greets you on the Cheesecake Factory website? She doesn't eat there. Obviously.

 

Image via rockinfree/Flickr

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