The Weird Things They Do With Food on Cruises

melon owlA few years ago we went on a cruise to Alaska and guess what I remember the most? The dramatic icebergs? Whale sightings? Kayaking through Ketchikan? Seeing Russia from our cabin? Oh no. What I remember most are the wacky food sculptures.

Every single moment on a cruise is all about entertaining you -- even eating is an exciting opportunity for bedazzlement. And just about every cruise line out there does a special night of ice and food sculpture, where you're made to parade through the dining room just looking (no touching!) before you finally get to rip into that juicy watermelon owl that's been eyeing you. 

Some of the food creations are amazing. Others scare me.

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foodflowersIt all starts out innocently enough, like with this lovely bouquet of food
flowers. How nice! What
a delightful thing to do
with carrots!

 

 

 

 

giant gingerbread houseAnd then you get to the giant gingerbread house. Wow, what a feat! It's almost big enough to hold a child-eating witch, but it also looks delicious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

watermelon pirateAvast me hearties! I am the headless watermelon pirate and I have chewed-up bits of watermelon falling out of my mouth. Or is it the chewed-up heart of Orlando Bloom? Arggghhh!

 

 

 

 

 

chocolate cake with random sculptureThis perfectly good chocolate cake has been punctured by two falling L-square angle rulers! Who could be so careless with their construction tools -- and who prints hearts on their tools, anyway?

 

 

 

 

 

mouse sculptureEeeeeeeeek! Mouse in the dining room! Mouse in the dining room! Get it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fruit indianSomeone is still angry over the whole Washington Redskins controversy. And they're taking it out on poor, innocent melon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ice skullNothing makes me hungry for cruise ship food like a reminder that we will all die someday. Nice ice skull! Now please pass the vodka.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fruit duckThanks for the duck made out of pineapple and zucchini. Next time just roast me a real duck, okay?

 

 

 

 

 

 

cruise ship pigAnd then, the finale! Whole-roasted pig? Oh yes! Decorated with sliced cucumber and, what is that ... whipped cream? Oh God, the eyes! DON'T LOOK IT IN THE CREAM-AND-PEA EYES!

 

 

 

 

 

What weird food creations have you seen on cruise ships?

 

Images via Brian O'Donovan / Flickr, gailf548 / Flickr, lvvaldzenl / Flickr, Wyscan / Flickr, Wyscan / Flickr, jorgeBRAZIL / Flickr, Brian O'Donovan / Flickr, Wyscan / Flickr, dlisbona / Flickr, Brian O'Donovan / Flickr

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