Do you love, I mean LOVE, fried food? Do you daydream about your dedicated fryer all afternoon, wondering what else you could coat in batter and sizzle into a crispy, golden heart-attack-on-a-stick?
Well you need to haul your pretty little self to Texas. Oh sure, California may have foot-long "monster" corn dogs and Florida may have cheeseburgers with fried ice cream, but do any of those state fairs have fried beer? Do they? You will not believe what else gets thrown in the pan in the Lone Star State.
About that fried beer ...
It looks more like moldy ravioli, and I don't know how they pulled this off, but there's brewsky in them thar pasta pockets. Wonder what kind fries best?
Speaking of fried drinks, how about a margarita wrapped in a funnel cake and then topped with lime juice and whipped cream? Anyone?
Up at the Sandusky County Fair in Ohio, they like to fry their pickles. Crunchy, salty, tart ... and silly.
What are those little breaded blobs that look like tempura? Frito pie, of course -- the winning fried dish at last year's Texas state fair. The creators rolled chili and cheese in corn chips before deep-frying them. Yum (and yikes)!
This looks like a burrito in a spinach tortilla ... but it's not. It's a fried Cobb salad, if you can believe it. Translation: What you'd eat if you're trying to be "healthy" at one of these shindigs.
Okay, so maybe California's state fair does have something on the one in George W. Bush's homestead: Fried Coke. Because you wouldn't want your drink to be remotely refreshing, now, would you?
Picking up where The Elvis left off (peanut butter, bacon, and banana sandwich) is the fried PB&J with bananas. Batter takes the place of bread and the bananas get gooey.
Why bake your cookies when you could fry them instead? This is batter-fried cookie dough. I'd like it if the dough were flattened, coated in cookie crumbs, and flash-fried just to see how the end result compares to the regular baked variety.
Regular butter not fattening enough for you? Roll chilled garlic butter balls in dough and fry 'em up! There's something redundant about this one, but I can't quite put my finger on it ...
Is anyone else suddenly craving some angioplasty? Don't mess with Texas, at least when it comes to fried food. Please, American fair-goers, tell me you don't eat like this all the time! It's for laughs, right? I got chest pains just looking at these pictures!
What strange concoction would you like to see fried?
Images via Big C Harvey/Flickr David Berkowitz//Flickr, David Berkowitz/Flickr, Benimoto/Flickr, Big C Harvey/Flickr, Stacey Huggins/Flickr, cambelina/Flickr, Stacey Huggins/Flickr, Stacey Huggins/Flickr, David Berkowitz/Flickr