'Whole Foods Rap' Nails Every Annoying Aspect About That Store (VIDEO)


If you are like me, you spend an inordinate amount of time in Whole Foods. Everything about the store beckons me -- the delicious samples, the wide aisles, the selection of organics, the friendly people, the fun music. The list goes on and on. Of course, they don't call it "Whole Paycheck" for nothing. And now a rap about the "Whole Foods Parking Lot" makes it all come together.

The rap, performed by production team Fog and Smog, tells a lot of truths about the store where I stock up on vitamins, natural baby products, organic strawberries, and Greek yogurt. See below:

It's funny because it's true! With lyrics like:

This buster’s on his iPhone talkin to his friends/ Pickin up some cayenne pepper for his master cleanse/ You’re the most annoying dude I’ve ever seen, brah/ Could you please move? You’re right in front of the quinoa.


Damn, I'm about to check out.
Pay my 80 bucks for 6 things and get the heck out.
The express lane is moving hella slow ...
Man, these fools don't know ... that sh*t is getting REAL ...

He gets it! He really gets it! Sadly, no matter how silly I know this store to be, I can't help but keep shopping there. There is something about their perfect packaging of a healthy, yoga-filled lifestyle that keeps me coming back for more. Even my kids love it.

Even if it costs me $80 for six things, which is all too true, unfortunately, I will continue to surrender my money at the altar of Whole Foods. I am crazy that way.

Do you also obsess over Whole Foods?

Image via YouTube

grocery shopping


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Rachael Watson

I'm more of a trader joes kinda girl...

nonmember avatar Dianne

Trader joes is a lie that people buy at face value. Do the research, look at the labels. You might as well shop at a normal grocery chain.

Sweet... Sweet_Britt

OOOOMGosh! I could not stop laughing!

"It's gettin REAL in the Whole Foods parking lot" bwhahahaha

Wonde... Wonderlust

HA. This is Alabama...we ain't got no stinking Whole Foods....lol

amand... amandasmomma

I LOVE this...it's so REAL

I haven't set foot in a Whole Foods since I LEFT living on the Westside 7 years ago, and haven't looked back!!


Kassy Rey Gimble

If you truly care feeding your family well and aren't rolling in excess money, there are a lot better and easier places to shop.  But you'd just be buying FOOD, not a lifestyle.  Insert major eyeroll.

momav... momavanessa

I hate Whole foods! I used to go there to buy cream for my son's ezcema and I saw it at Target for 5 dollars LESS!! Also I hate how snobby everybody is there. So we go to Trader Joes instead!

Rumsita Rumsita

I wish we had a Trader Joe's anywhere close by.  I hear such rave reviews of them, but our closest is in another state, 6+ hours away.

I buy certain things at Whole Foods.  Primarily fish.  They know exactly where the fish came from, generally what it ate (if farm-raised), and how sustainable it is.  (The farm raised salmon that they supply is fed carrots to give it the orange color was all associate with salmon.  Farm raised salmon needs a little extra help maintaining the orange.)  That stuff is important to me.  However, I generally do find better prices on produce (organic and non), chicken and beef at Sunflower Market.

jagam... jagamama0710

LOL I've got no problem with Whole Foods. They're expensive but I've never come across anyone snobby there, at least at the 2 in my city. I also don't feel like I'm "buying a lifestyle". Part of our lifestyle is wholesome, real food and that is where I can purchase some of that wholesome food, so that's where I go. I don't get everything there but I do enjoy the store.

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